Tuesday, September 11, 2007

A Turtle Invasion is Imminent!! And I Have Proof from My Own Backyard!

At first, it was cute. The little swimmers were almost fascinating as they came after my bait on my last fishing experience. (Note that I’ve been too traumatized since to venture again into another fishing outing! That, too, is part of their 'secret plan.')

Then it was a joke. I discovered that a web site dedicated entirely to turtles was a top ten, in terms of raking in readers! As crushing as it was for Jungletart’s soul, she responded by finding pics of the wiley creatures and posting them on her sideboard, complete with witty self-authored quotes. I’m always one to invite more readership. This occurred only a couple of nights ago!

But now it appears they mean business. They are fighting back, and soon I expect a full frontal invasion.

As it is, they sent a scout out just this morning into my backyard to scare the pooty out of my sweet Emma-dog, Emma-dog. I let her out (to the fenced backyard) to do her thing, only to hear her losing her Pug-gie mind, barking her head off and hair standing so tall on the back of her neck that she looked like a miniature hyena, only without the spots or built-in ugly.

Here she is shown below, in one of her quieter moments, always the Security Personnel:

The shots below were captured in the new amphibiatic war-zone. It’s a new term (I coined it just moments ago) but we need to accept that the turtles are coming, and they will take over the world. That could be anywhere at this point, but look in your backyard first.What was once a silly pipe dream, an unmentionable concept kept carefully from the public by our frightened but intrepid government, actually something so dreadful it really couldn’t have been dreamed of or comprehended before, has now become reality. You may want to avert your eyes or those of your sweet children. It is difficult to take. Heck, he almost got away before I got my camera equipment!

The documentary captured below by our intrepid reporter, ‘Tart (okay, I am news & entertainment reporter extraordinaire, typist, water girl, and Editor in Chief – a true Jaqueline of all journalistic/blogging skills!), shows clearly the enraged beast, shaking with fury, complete with evil red eyes.

An intelligent scout, he wouldn’t talk no matter what we did to him. Clearly, he's hiding something, and we're certain here at the blog, its only a matter of time before he returns to the others, uncovering our weak spots. They may be slow, the invasion may take time, but this is a clear indication: They are Coming. Boy, you’ve got to take these little funny looking guys seriously. I didn’t and now they are showing up in my back yard. No one is safe. Mark my words.

Seriously, its just too funny considering recent the documented turtle of events here on the blog. Too strange I'd say that one showed up in my backyard this morning. Paranoia is not my usual destroyer, but is it coincidence or in fact, do turtles love me and therefore can't stay away? A reaction of overwhelming support for my exhibited 'turtle love?' Are they looking for love in all the wrong places? Or in fact, planning an invasion of epic proportions?? You be the judge.

**Disclaimer: Absolutely no animals were harmed in the making of this blog post, not even for scientific purposes (I don't believe in scientific purposes). The barking sounds in the background of the video were Emma-dog inside the house losing her mind. She was too frightened of the creature even while outside to do any good for us, as a country, I'm saddened to say.

The turtle shook because its capture takes Lithium, but had we been forced to torture the turtle, it would be completely legal and endorsed by Homeland Security. I can't be held liable for what my country would like to do to turtles.

Although they may be coming to me for help, I assure you, I will probably continue to do the right thing, which included throwing the turtle into my neighbors yard, so they can figure out what to do about it and of course, continue the saga of doing the right thing.:) Thank you for your support, and Good Night.**


Raine said...

oh thats a cool looking turtle! what kind is he?she? we dont have much in the way of turtles round here. I saw a couple darting away in a river ONCE. You can send him to me if you dont want him!!!

'Tart said...

a'hem. I believe that was a Box Turtle, specis hardis backis. Oh I don't know Raine, but believe me this blog got every good shot that I took of him. I cannot believe how much this bipolar shakes, ya know? I love my camera. I can take 'stills' and video with superior ease. I'm telling you he had red fiery eyes, and I could tell he was up to somethin'...