Sunday, November 29, 2009

Pretty good holiday.

I did bake sweet potato pie and rich chocolate cheesecake and brought two each to my wonderful work Thanksgiving party, and two to my in-laws (lots of traveling!) and they were loved in both locations!

The work party for mental health consumers was such a success (I work as a Facilitator at the Drop-In Center) and they were Loving the food (so did I!).

And when I brought one each of my pies to the in-laws, my MIL said she Really Liked my sweet potato pie - which is such a compliment aaaaaaaaaand it made me feel good.

So I was away for Thanksgiving and had a pretty good time. I watched my MIL cook the turkey and asked questions (I have never cooked one!) and apparently the trick is using a big turkey bag to put it in when you are going to put it in the oven (annnnnd she gave me a bag so I could do my own at home!!) so that was Very Informative, and yes I'll check it out sometime.

Now is the time to get very cheap turkeys if you hit the store early enough, according to one of my friends whose brother is a meat cutter.

He says the store that his brother works at donates bread and canned food to a shelter/food bank but cannot donate meat because of 'law suits!' He says a 12 pound turkey can be had for $5 because they will just have to throw them out. People are going hungry in this country and it's just a shame that the store can't give those too.

So as far as my time with the in-laws went, mood-wise I did okay with a few blips - I admit to a few burning mood swings, I'm only being honest because after all this is my bipolar blog.

But I think most importantly, they were pretty contained (my poor husband listened to a few upset tirades because I feel safe telling him how I feel, until my mood improved and I'm pretty sure they did not do too much damage to others, bless his heart).

I would like to say for the record that I am Very Lucky to have a person in my life such as my husband who understands me so, is very even-keeled and loving. Truly Ver-wy Lucky.

I forgive myself for my bipolar moments. No one seems too upset about me being me.:)

I hope others had a pretty good holiday.:)

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Happy Thanksgiving!

Monday, November 16, 2009

My bipolar so coordinates with my cycle.

It was news to me to finally have it put in my face by my fabulous book 'A Brilliant Madness' by Patty Duke that the above statement is true for many people.

In a way, it's a no-brainer. Sure you get cranky during your cycle, that does not necessarily indicate that you are bipolar of course.

But if you are bipolar, Lord help us all when some of us get our cycles. It's already a cyclical illness and it seems that now there is scientific proof that they are linked.

In my life, it seems obvious now that it is clearly played out that way. Even when I look back on my imood - oh, tired one week, feeling great the next. Oh, they are so linked. I am nearly shocked at the obviousness of it yet how much I never really thought about it, until I read about it.

(For better clarification, scientific proof and case studies see that book 'A Brilliant Madness').

So the other shoe drops.

I am stressed, irritable, cranky. All of it. Even though I have read in my Patty Duke 'A Brilliant Madness' book that your bipolar is likely to strike you during your PMS time, it doesn't help one bit - know what I am saying?

I know that being irritable with people is a sign of my bipolar (as told to me by my last therapist). Does it help to make me feel less irritable? No.

I actually feel a little relieved that I am finally experiencing the crank. Like that is the real purpose of my life, which I have steadfastly been denying all this time, but why not just give into it.

I'm so incredibly stressed about money. I could never make enough to cover all the expenses. It is SO depressing when you do all that you CAN and it is still not enough.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Good things.

Hmmm, so I am trying to think of something new to write on the blog. I think I am feeling well these days, very even, like the medicine is keeping me right and that I am at the right balance right now.

I have been able to work my part time job solid ever since coming back from my severe low a few months ago. This has been a good thing.

The new therapist seems very understanding.

I do have restlessness in my legs and I am nearly certain that this is the Abilify, but I am not overly upset about it. I have kept busy and think about things to look forward to, such as baking for Thanksgiving and a Thanksgiving party for work.

Also, I have some handiwork projects going - a cross stitch and some crocheting - hopefully to be done for Christmas, so that has been keeping me busy as well.

When I am at work, I am around people, and mind-boggling to me, I am getting paid. I feel like I am getting better all the time, maybe someday I can lead a support group - that is starting to be a goal of mine. I don't think I am there yet, but I see a time when maybe I could do that.