Saturday, August 4, 2007

Slate: Mummy Slummy and some usual Jungletart hatred. :)

Okay, I read this review about a book about incompetent moms in the NYT, in the stupid Slate (hate the Slate! My responses about a botched Hemingway piece were so underloved on their site. Bite me, Slate.), (I get NYT in my email for free. Apparently, I'm being liberalized and buying into media hype, for FREE). ANYhow, focus, about the story, pay 'tention: You know the type, walking around in pajamas, clueless about how to buy a stroller, ya de yade YA DE! What we're talking about is INCOMPETENT PEOPLE, people! And this reviewer, had some pretty harsh words about THAT! Can't have the world falling apart like that, AND writing about it too - right Drill Sargeant??!! NOO!

Nah, I don't care. I don't care that the reviewer was bitch-y (see that is not a noun, it is an adjective:) or that her minions posts concerning the described article were bitchier c_nts (okay, one of those might be a mean nasty noun. But I do that. I cus. And have a disclaimer. You have been warned). Anyhow, wretched x 100. Don't take MY word for it, I know that all that come here, do their research! Their homework! They want to SEEEE if for themselves. I understand.

What to Make of Slummy Mummy http://www.slate.com/id/2171428/fr/flyout

The reason I don't care about what THEY said is cuz, I took care of them in MY RESPONSE. See that's what I do on a Saturday, waste it away, typing and thinking, or is it thinking and typing? Well anyway, as Slacker #1, bipolar screwed up life speaking, I get to type kick ass responses that I am extremely proud of and you get forced to read it, or at least, I post them on my own blog to not only take credit for it, but to hold it here in glorious terpitude, as well (yes, its a word, I'm pretty sure I used it right, look it up).

Oh, in case you think this slacker has it TOO easy, I had to break up fights between my Pug and Siamese. You have no idea what it's like. The Pug is adorable and wants attention and be on Mommy's lap (I'm Mommy, eat your heart out) so she's standing there with big, big Brown Eyes. Kitty, Reese Kitty, Kitty Boy (Pretty Boy, hell we don't know what to call him) He just doesn't like her being in his room (which the office IS his room, so he's always got a point when he starts pulling this). He YOWLS at her, and if you know what a Siamese sounds like, its a wee bit LOUD. Truth: I wouldn't care about their problems, except he pulls this yowling stuff. Oh its hell. As a comPLETE side note: I don't have stretch marks from children. Aw, I'm just rubbing it in. I've got stretch marks from being fat from being alive. Bipolar and take drugs for it, you'll find yourself fat with stretch marks. Watch anybody care about that. THAT's why my slacker life is hell. And so counter culture. But maybe my 315 other posts explain about that.

Yes. Working for no money, typing on the computer all afternoon, do it for free (um, nobody does it for free. StripTease individuals AND prostitutes get paid, and so does everyone else - so what does that make me?) A brilliant bipolar on disability that quit her last job and resists the guilt to work some MO, and loves the computer and typing crap. Wow! I didn't know I could be described so well! If only it would fit on a resume.

So anyHoo, just go to the url to understand what got me mad enough to spend ALL Saturday afternoon on and never realize the time (that's how you know you're in heaven, no concept of time. That's for artistic types. I have no idea for the boring Everybody Elses. A h_rd-on 'cause the day is done? That's why they rule the world and make it hell for everyone else). THEN, OR you could just read what I have to say. Maybe you'll be interested in the original crap after doing and click on the url above and then somehow I helped this dumb b_tch. Oh well, I always get s_rew_d somehow.

Oh pah-lease, exactly. As a bipolar, 35 (read: No kids YET??!!), married
woman who thankfully has a blog to get out my ‘frighteningly’ similar issues of
slacker lifestyle, I’m thinking “Thank you!” for bringing this apparently
‘terrible book’ to my attention for some intense perusal for my own research, or
at least apparently, mild chuckling, for my own book.

After all,
if this even hint of ‘counter culture’ (read: reality for thousands) bites the
bottom of a bunch of dull, ‘perfect’ people as yourselves, I’m already drooling
thinking of the ‘paper’ (that means money) the publishing house will have to put
out for some well-written slacker lifestyle ‘drivel’ (with admitted bipolar and
brilliant tendencies) by someone who can tell you how it’s
done.

You idiots, there are TONS of almost non-functioning people
out there, yes especially, but not contained to, moms saddled with that ‘most
important of jobs’ which, in my view, has been culturally shoved upon them.
There are many who feel alone and utterly clueless, waiting for some real
information, especially anecdotal, and for a body of people to call their own,
attach to and feel better about themselves with, whether because they simply ARE
everyday ‘slobs’ and clueless, or have something more of a problem and can
finally get help if it’s needed. Thank God they are getting a
voice!

It’s strange that you nearly describe them as the slime of
the earth – have you all become so derogatory and critical that this is what it
takes to make YOU feel better? Methinks you protest the existence and the gall
to speak of the ‘annoyingly less than perfect’ a little too much, eh?

Look, lipstick/no lipstick,
how-dare-these-people-talk-to-me-at-the-playground Stepford-mommie meanies– get
off your high horse. I swear that you really aren’t perfect, better or whatever
your beef is, and need to finally be quiet and realize that what you really are
is: cruel & catty - a game that’s been over since high school and only gets
revived when you get a chance to ‘express your opinion’ on the web and in
reality – do you get that? It’s my sincere prayer that you would stop the
cruelty (which is the bullying of your fellow sisters, whether in your head or
sadly, aloud). You stop it, that would be some significant change in the world.
The first step is understanding that yes, it’s you.
The interesting
question for the reviewer of this book is ‘Are you disturbed because slackers
even exist and that alone is your ‘simple issue,’ or does it gall you that they
would say something and you really think they should be embarrassed, and by God,
it’s your job to embarrass them out of speech? Because I think this is just the
beginning, and rightfully so, of ‘slacker expression.’ If you hate it this much,
I hope they flood the market with it. The time is coming for
judgmental/perfectionist (funny how it really is a combo) so-called ‘normal
folks’ to take your ‘shut-up and eat it’ juice and like it. For your every push
and incessant yammer that insists ‘be like me or say nothing at all’ there ought
to be a slue of those nutty ‘counter culture’ writers to put you into your
place, and I plan to be one of them.

4 comments:

MYSTI said...

Lmao, YOU GO GIRL! Loved your response. Funny you just made me want to continue writing in my blog. I have been seriously considering giving it up of late. Basically because who wants to read what my little ol self has to write? I am one of those slacker moms i think. LMAO. I don't really consider myself to bad of a slacker, my illness however makes it hard to do much of anything. Love ya my friend! Hugs

Raine said...

I think Im gonna read that book! There are sure days I find laundry overwhelming and I agree with alot of what you said. But my brain is moving too slow to remember what it was :P Im not ignoring your posts hun. Your brain seems to be on lightening and my brain is on huh? I'll try and catch up later

Anonymous said...

cuss has two 'esses'

I'd probably want to read your novel one day if you could spell, but unconscious errors are distracting hurdles to comprehending a writer's full meaning.

Please try harder.

'Tart said...

No, you dopey Bitch, cus has one. Jesus, you can't even pick the right word to say somethin' about.

I tell you what, you can read/buy my book if you get a new pair of glasses. That's probably the kindest thing I can say to you.
MY NAME is TART. WHAT's YOURS?