Tuesday, June 6, 2006

Peace Be With You!

With today specifically being a day of ridiculous (060606)fascination, I post my most beautiful picture (that I have been saving) and the sentiment that it carries for me.

"May the Holy Spirit guide you, and be with you." I guess I pray it for myself.

I am tired and overwhelmed. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and I was shocked actually by how pretty I look. I have 'special' makeup that I bought off TV and it does a great job!

But back to being tired, woke up around the time all you Moms do, but that is
early for the Tart. So I attribute some of being out of it to that.

Overwhelmed because I tried practicing what the hell to say tomorrow and I don't know if I always look this much of a mental nut, but its not working. I could write the emotional moments of a screenplay, the crisis epitome moment to make a person cry, better than I can deal with this, I see that right now.

I am a living, breathing bottle of worry. I know why I haven't commented on your sites or enjoyed anything for the past two months. I subconciously and consciously worry about tomorrow, and the reality is they probably won't let it be over. I have so much anger now bottled that UT said she feels sorry for this woman, as she knows I have so much pent up anger. How stupid that they have kept it going like this, that it even took 4 years for them to tell me they want to keep on going with it. It is draining. I'm not trained at this, and I am not prepared for this despite trying to be so.

I now live to be a burden on society and whatever else, for the best revenge for me may be simply be living. If I can get a book deal a couple years down the road I hope to hear about some slit wrists at my local SS on CNN, I can tell you that. Life's no fun if I can't see how this eventually all turns out, so believe me, I wouldn't kill myself. I have always thought that behaviour a bit below myself, I mean don't actual normies feel that way as well?

1 comment:

mysti said...

Is anyone really normal??? I know what you mean, and yes normies feel the same way at times. It is very normal, so I guess we can call you normal too!

The picture you posted is beautiful, also wonderful sentiment. Thanks for sharing.

Know I am praying for you and today. I will pray that you have the words you need!