Goodbye 3 million cancerous substances!!

Don't worry, she'll find her way down. (Webshots)


Went to a party tonight where nobody asked about my 'kid status.' I felt I should report this since I went off so badly from the last party.

I have had zero (0) cigarettes today. This is on a "God Grant Me Serenity" daily basis thing but I'm kicking it, ahem, not only for the Christmas crowd which I didn't even want to have to explain or deal with, but for good.

Strangely, today has not been so bad. I am wearing the patch, which time has taught me works best for me. Cold turkey would be a joke and today would have been hell for everyone if I took that route. Two major flareups of stress where I had to remind myself that I don't smoke anymore, that I AM BETTER THAN IT (or the need, or cigarettes, or nicotine, or the stink, or its stony finger of death pointed at me) and just got over it. I know how beastly this can be so I'm really waiting for the big one to drop but I have already kicked into the part of me that gets angry and luckily this time its against the right thing. I'm like, I'm not going to mess this up and you/it can't make me. Period.

I guess you call it willpower. When properly channelled, I have lots of it. We ALL know I have willed myself into near-normalcy in the past, and I have in fact kicked the habit in the past. A smoker for ten years, I stopped for three, only to start up this January for some unnameble emotional reason that I have yet to understand. Well, no matter, I'm kicking the crutch out.

There are no fireworks, not much kudos, nobody lives with my demons but me. Since everyone else is busy doing the same, I'm not surprised I don't hear too many 'Wow, good for you's.' Again, got to give yourself the strokes. Cause I am a tough bitch. :)