Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Feeling better today.

Things are going better today, mostly because I got up a little earlier than yesterday and have managed to get a few things done.

I went out, after taking my morning meds, and went to the pharmacy, McDonald's and for the first time in a long time, picked up some movies from my local rental place. I got 'Nim's Island' and 'Dream Girls.'

My Mom is prepping to leave tomorrow but not before we all go out to lunch today. (Nix that: it's going to be dinner:) I'm hoping she'll watch one of the movies with me, too.

And about yesterday, I decided that the combination of being premenstrual and truly dreading going into work, plus my mental illness just flaring up in general made for a sick day.

And so I didn't go in. Hopefully things will calm down at work, that time of the month will start OR... who knows what will happen, and all before Thursday, the next time I'm slated to go in.

Some days I just wake up feeling better than others. I don't know if it's the dreams I've had, or the mental messages that I send myself.

I feel that I must fight back, instead of wondering why its such a struggle with those thoughts (sometimes I actually wake up feeling worthless and what does it even matter if I get up, that's why I find it so important to end my last post the way I did, in case anyone else ever feels that way.), and just Fight the thoughts. Fight the thoughts.

I also need a dang alarm clock that I can work. I have one across the room with a CD player in it no less, but it never goes off when I want it to. I bet I could get myself up earlier and not feel like such a slummer.

I hope I don't bring others down. I wish to bring others up. But I also wish to be honest and lately it's just been telling you what is going on with me.

I might 'FlyLady' a little and take care of the house 15 minutes at a time, cross-stitch a little (and take a picture of how I'm doing) and maybe fit scrapbooking in. I need to take some time to exercise too. I feel like I'm creating structure all over again.:)


Tracy said...

First off you never bring others down! Hugs sweet TArt. I am glad you are feeling better. About the class i can totally relate. I would have chosen not to go also!

I hope you had fun with your crafts!


'Tart said...

Thanks for thinkin' I'm not a downer, Tracy. And it's good to get feedback on the job, too.

I'm goin' tomorrow. Right now, I feel like with bells on. My Mom leaves tomorrow so I'll probably want to crawl into a hole but I'm Not Letting Myself. Nope, battle armor is ON, Babe!!:) TTYS.