Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Mixed vegetable.

I think I am in a mixed state that is leaning more to the depressive side. I have tried to complete things today, getting a few appointments set, taking care of some things on the phone and really feel like I have not got much done. I am hungrier than usual today too, it's weird.

I also decided to listen to these Tony Robbins CD's that my Dad left me. I had thought about selling them on Ebay but then I decided that I actually needed to listen to them.

So tired and good for nothing. My house overwhelms me and I need to do something about it. My inlaws hinted at coming to visit us and it fills me with panic. I have managed to keep most of 'the critical eye' out of my house but soon will come the day when it can't be held back.

I'm embarrassed but I want to either die Or just go back to bed.


Jena said...

((((Tart))))) I think we, as a collection of people diagnosed with bipolar, go through similar episodes. How painful they are. I can hear the pain in your tone. Try not to stress too much about your home and don't be afraid to let them now that it's just not going to work this week or it's not a good time right now but you'll give them a call when it's more convenient. I think sometimes we just need to take the rest that we're craving. On the other hand, if you don't have anyone at home to help you clean up the main stuff (I have really struggled in that area and with support for that too), then could you consider asking someone to help you get things cleaned up? Then at least your environment is more comfortable. You can also maybe allow yourself to do one small task a day.

If you want to listen to the Tony Robbins CD's, you should! Listening to good stuff right now would probably be good for you. Also, if you have some favourite CD's or TV shows or DVD's, or take a bubble bath, light candles, even build on hobbies, whatever you can think of anything that might bring you comfort or relaxation, I say use your extra time in those ways.

Most of all, don't isolate too much. Talk to people. Blog. Answer the phone. Phone your best friends. Keep in contact with close family. Let people help you. They love you.

Take care. thinking of you lots and lots.

Love, Jena xoxo

Denise said...

Girl Friend..... sorry I did not get here quicker to read this...... YOU remember one thing.............

Isa 53:3He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were [our] faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not.

Isa 53:4 Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.

Isa 53:5 But he [was] wounded for our transgressions, [he was] bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace [was] upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.

When you feel like this..... you get your word of God out and you speak out loud and remind HIM of HIS promise ...HE took the chastisement and left us HIS peace.... Remind HIM of HIS promise.... HE NEVER fails and put that burden off on HIM for HE is able to carry it....... Take HIS peace and live......! The word of God NEVER comes back VOID..... Never......

Wanda's Wings said...

Hey girlfriend. Hope you are doing better. I can sooooo relate. Hang in there with with all you got. Hugs.