Saturday, January 26, 2008

Abilify has changed my life...

American Pit Bull Terrier (Webshots) the simple fact that I can now get up in the morning.

Yes, that is a miracle.

I'm paying the price for years of non-use of say, my stomach muscles, while sleeping for the past three years thru until Oprah time each day.

I am the proverbial 'Sleeping Beauty.' Let me tell you, there's nothing beautiful about a flabby belly and non-existent back muscles. I'm just sayin.'

Now I must work like crazy to get them back. Guh-roan.

I do take naps now, and I think I have to figure the best times for them, but for the most part I'm up and Adam, feeding my animals, eating some OATMEAL myself (which for years I refused to eat. It's so healthy.) and going from there.

I've been on Abilify since mid-December 2007, they upped me from 15 mg to 20 mg's a week or so ago. I don't crave food normally, but the number on the scale is stubbornly the same. (I'm working on exercise). If you like details.

My anger is significantly lower. I'm not normal, but I don't rage like I did. Hence I type here less, since when you rage, you have so much to talk about. What a miracle less anger is!

But I don't quite say that with religious fervor because that says to me that I'm a bit of a prisoner to the ol' chemical-aroos. Ya know? Take a pill, and chill, that bothers me. I take so much stuff to get a little effect, barely noticeable and then Abilify comes along and goes and makes massive changes?

Makes you wonder how many things are merely controlled by brain chemicals in your head. If a pill can alter - who the hell's in charge here???

And when is this stuff going to stop being so 'fun?' Is the effectiveness going to peter out and I'll be at ground zero, waiting for the next wonder drug?

Am I an Eli Lilly 'drug trial in waiting?' Are they using me to judge the effectiveness so the next generation of sniveling 'give it to me's' and 'I want everything now's' get the benefit of my suffering?

Still searching for that mentor. Where's MY MENTOR???

You see, I'm still ungrateful yet insightful and haven't changed much!:) Hey, it's my life. Bipolar is not a cake walk, but sometime you get to eat a cupcake.

No comments: