Thursday, January 8, 2009

Lowered Happy Quotient (aka agitated) for a day or two; and talking 'bout Ebay

But a mere two days ago I had lots of energy and felt, well, happy. Well, I would be amiss if I always gave the impression that life is perfect, and that I'm a happy bipolar. I am bipolar, I am not happy about it, and life is not perfect. Yup, I said it.

I have been agitated and cranky today. And while I certainly am blessed and always am, I realize, I will change my imood to reflect my agitated state.

Yes, it Must be nearing that time of month, which I admit is probably the main problem. And I admit that I don't understand my moods. I don't understand when I'm physically under the weather and Tart just shouldn't push it so much, be kind to thyself, Tart.

I hate that moods can and do change and so darn quickly. I hate that moods seem so tied to who I am and what I can do. I have thinking about being on Disability of late too.

I have decided to do what I can for my family and try and sell my Dad's books on Ebay. I am working my way to being able to open the boxes, maybe just one box that I sent home to myself after going through Dad's apartment those almost two years ago.

My Dad LOVED books, he treated them with reverence and there are some there from the 1980's and beyond in perfect condition. I feel that I have the okay to sell them, as his very good friend told me that Dad had been thinking himself of selling books on Ebay, so it's not like it's a new idea.

I know what his problem was ~ he couldn't part with them! And I know how that feels because I feel the same way. It's just that they would be blessing someone else and help my family out just a little if they weren't sitting in boxes in my office.

I haven't talked about this before. But if I were to start my real selling on Ebay this is what I've got. I know that I'll keep a zillion books for myself, because they are a Father's gift to a Daughter, and I can't part with them all, there is too much sentimental value to those self-help books.

But some things, like books on improving the brain (which I certainly should care about but don't), I have let go of one so far. And it was therapeutic.

Aaug, it makes me sad to think about it, so maybe I am not ready yet. And maybe no one will buy them. But I get a little bit excited about it, because Ebay is a buzz for me. It truly taps into something manic for me, especially if you win something on it.

I just won the book 'Suze Orman's Women & Money' off Ebay. It's coming from a seller with 100% good feedback (always important) and I am waiting for it to be mailed to me.

I admit that it was really a high and I was on pins and needles as I kept checking to see if I was 'still the highest bidder' on the book. I know I can't be alone in this. What gives you a personal high, if you are bipolar or not?

2 comments:

joy antony said...

wish you happy new year 2009.

Tracy said...

Hmmm my friend, what gives me a personal high? I guess it would be getting into a new thing... like cooking, sewing, painting...... and the such. I was told the other day that i get totally obsessed about new projects i enter into. The wii for instance i was told mom please do not go hog wild over it... become to obsessed with losing weight... because they know how i get... I just goooo goooo gooooo and get totally into new things. I did that with cooking, became obsessed with learning, and getting new tools to help me achieve that cooking goal i wanted. I did that with sewing also. lol and well you have seen me with my painting. I am still obsessed with that. Hugs my friend. I do not think it is a bad thing to get obsessed with losing weight. lol hummmph i say to them!