Friday, January 16, 2009

Experiencing a time of 'fair seas.'

It's not that I'm overly happy although I am revved right now because I made the mistake of watching 'scrapbooking' stuff on HSN (Home Shopping Network, which I am NOT going to buy anything off of!!:) and I should have kept it on C-Span.

We lowered our cable to Basic to save money and tell you the truth I don't miss the other channels too much except for TLC (I love my 'Jon & Kate Plus Eight and 'Little People.' Wanh! Goodbye!) and the Food Network (God, of course I would miss That one!) and of course my Clean House shows.

But NOW I can watch Lou Ferigno in 'The Hulk' and David Hasselhoff in 'Knight Rider' in his heyday on the RTN channel (the ReTro Network!) and lots of WETA (PBS). And of course, get addicted to the shows that show up on 'regular TV.' Oh how I need technology to sleep.

Anyhoo, I was writing to report that my therapist who I saw on Wednesday said that she noticed for the second time in a row that I seem more clear headed, less jittery, and more even than usual. She asked me if this bothered me, as she heard that some bipolars miss the ups and downs.

Nope. I like being even.

That's what I take this slew of drugs for, that's what has been the goal all this time.

Now I can focus on my real goal, to lose weight (#1 priority, and then there are other priorities, and yes I wrote out my NY's resolutions and tacked them where I can see them every day. It's a trick to remind yerself (think Forest Gump in my diction, here:) rather than have to focus on being stable. That is a great feeling, better than feeling off your rocker constantly. (And I don't mean I feel 'normal' or 100% stable, Gosh no, that's just not for me (sarcasm/anger), just more even than usual, Thank God (sincere)!!!!)

I know I will return to 'off your rocker' stage at some point, or at least I say I'm prepared for it since that's what I do, although I don't look forward to it. It's nice to enjoy some peace while I can.

(P.S. ~ I think I can enjoy being 'even' because I know that I can so easily jazz myself into a slight mania (like over scrapbooking) to lift myself if necessary. There. That was much more succinct.)


Tracy said...

oh wow, i would have withdrawals with out my food network!

I am so happy that things are more even key for you during your days! That is wonderful news. woohooo! does a happy dance for you or with you!

Wanda's Wings said...

Sound like you are really doing a great job. Good for you. :)

Mike Golch said...

Tart,since you are a frequnt visitor and commentor,I have some "goodies" for you on my site.

Violet said...

I like the slight hypomania too :)
But.... being even is better than risking the ups for depression! Glad to hear you're feeling clear and even these days :)