Friday, January 16, 2009

Emotional eating.

Apples, Webshots

I realized something this evening (or should I say morning, since I'm still up at 2 a.m.?) ~ something I've kind of realized but now is hitting home for me more.

I definitely emotionally eat (I recognize this from an excellent article from WW online) and one of the ways I do it is to use food to...are you ready for this? Stay up. Yes, I think subconciously sometimes I don't want to sleep (nightmares, previous experience, excitement, a little bit of mania, I don't know what) and I use food to be energized to serve the purpose of staying up.

Along the lines of accepting that this is indeed happening, is the acceptance that I really am bipolar. What? You say. Isn't this blog all about you being bipolar? Isn't every minute of your life enraptured, and reminded about being bipolar? No. I forget. Sometimes I really do. Then I get reminded that "I have a major mental illness" from my therapist, or else the County couldn't treat me. (She means that in a 'good' way, she is giving me part of the criteria of why they treat me).

I've been thinking and searching within.

However, knowing it (I eat for emotional reasons; I'm bipolar) is probably the first step in dealing with either issue, but they are both still a struggle.

To end on a positive note, I got a fortune cookie that said "One of the first things you should look for in a problem is its positive side."

Positive side to emotional eating and bipolar, that I can see so far: Knowing is part of the battle.


Tracy said...

I think this is a huge step made! Knowing where your problem points are in your life then acknowledging them is a huge step! It is one step closer to you losing weight! Yayyyyy Congrats my friend.

Wanda's Wings said...

I can so relate to this. Sure wish there was an easy way out. Hang in there, sounds like you are on the right track.