Because I may get busy, I want to wish you...

...A HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! Welcome 2009!



See you next year!!:)
Love,
Tart

I made it back safely!:)

Sumatran Tiger Cub, Engangered Species, San Diego Wild Animal Park, California

I'm back from the inlaws, from a state far, far away - I traveled through snow and ice and below wind chill to get there and I must say I'm happy to be home, safe and sound, now surrounded by my animals (my wily cat and two Pugs).

The best Christmas gift I received, besides the company of nice people (and a couple of yummy feasts full of wonderful food) was the Wii from my inlaws! It has been a wonderful gift, as I have gotten my arse off the couch, away from the computer and working out to Wii Sports.

Who knew I would be so good at Boxing? That one really gets me sweating too. So far, I am not very good at Tennis, as I keep knocking it out of bounds. Golf and Baseball, so so. And I'm pretty good at Bowling, no surprise there.

I know they are hard to get a hold of, but I highly recommend the Wii to just about anybody. It comes with Wii Sport and there are slow games and sweatier ones (the Boxing).

I've played mine three days in a row now, for an average of at least an hour, hour and a half, and I am feeling really good because of the exercise.:)

An award from Mike Golch

Thank you Mike G..

I too, will give this award to anyone who has commented on my blog in the month of December.

Blog Love from Mike Golch!

Mike Golch was giving out this beautiful award (I love it!) on his site that he received, and I want to give it to Tracy, Stacy, and Denise and anyone else who wants some blog love.

The rules are:
Put the logo in your blog.
Add a link to the person who shared it with you.
Pass this award to your Blogger Friends.
Add your link to the list of participants below.
Leave a message for your nominee on their blog.

Christmas time, Bavaria, Germany

Hello my Beautiful Blogger Friends!!

I know I have been away from blogging for a week or so, but I will most likely be away this week as well, this time more planned though, as I will be away from home and my trusty computer for Christmas! Yes, I am leaving to go see the inlaws.

Instead of leaving Saturday as planned though, we are delaying ourselves because of the weather in the states we will be traveling through. I consider it a safety measure that any airline flying person would take, we instead are DRIVING, like fools.

My very anxiety ridden self has actually been saying some 'Hail Mary's' (learned from a Catholic computer program years ago), some 'Our Father's' (my grandmother originally taught it to me, she was Methodist) and I threw in the 'Serenity Prayer' along with my morning prayer or 'talking to straight' to Heavenly Father this morning.

When I was doing the fundraiser for my drop in center a few months ago, one of the sweet friends I have there asked me if I have anxiety disorder. You know, I've never been diagnosed with it - as in a doctor saying I had it, or giving it a name like it was a disorder - but they started giving me clonapin to take. I think it's a side effect of Abilify, much like the shaking and the clonapin, which helps with anxiety, was added on for this reason.

So, I am a tense lil person (although not much is lil on me!) and I admit that I am worried some about the weather. But my husband is a very capable person and I am most of all in the capable, loving hands of God. So come what may, we're going to try to get there. I guarantee I will have a white Christmas!

So I most likely will be gone this week, as Husband's 90-year-old grandmother only has dial up I think it will be like banging my head against the wall to get to do all the things I like to do at home on a much faster line.:)

I truly wish you all joys at Christmas time. I know some of my friends enjoy it greatly and others have a hard time this time of year more especially. I wish God's blessings on you all. May we be blessed by one another through Him - taking care of each other as we can.

We have our shopping done, we've got to wrap everything, pack everything, drop off the cat at the boarding place. We will be watching the weather and deciding the best time to pounce and go for it. "...Pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death (Hail Mary, full of Grace, Blessed art thou amongst women, Blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, Pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen - full text)." This has been giving me comfort lately. Hey, it keeps me from taking Clonapin!!:):)

I should be back by next week, before the New Year so I can wish everyone a fabulous 2009 then!! TTYS, Love Tart

:)Tart

Because Christmas is stressful enough.

This is great!! Sent to me in an email, for Pug lovers and stressed people everywhere (safe for children too:)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GVuBPaJsNQc

Aww I know I complained too much on the last one and I didn't mean it to sound as awful as it did.

My friends told me to live in the moment and not worry about or think too much about the future. Good advice.:)

I've got a little Pug on my lap sleeping away, at 10:33 a.m. That is so nice.

I wish everyone well.

Tart

Every two years is the big get together with my husband's family. I really like these people. We were so shocked when most of them showed up to our wedding, at a place where all of us had to travel to, and that day was made most special because so much family was there. I will be forever grateful for the love and acceptance of the good people that they are.

So even though there is much preparation to take care of, doing stuff and a little for me emotionally, I am excited and really looking forward to going.:)

Doing stuff-wise, I wish the immediate family would send out their frickin' Christmas lists so that I had some clue what to get them. We have a small budget and I want to know what to get them. I really don't like guessing.

Somehow, I am a little put-off by this, because they asked for lists and we complied, even though that was really hard for Husband (it took him hours between snoozes and thinking very hard to come up with one:).

One thing that is very interesting about Husband's family is that they are exchangers. They openly admit that they may take your gift back to the store of origin and get something they really want, so GET A GIFT RECEIPT and include it in the gift.

This is a very weird concept for me, because in my family you got a gift which you cherished or maybe not so much, but it would kinda hurt someone's feelings if you asked for the receipt and hit the sales day after Christmas.

I guess because his family is so big it's different? I didn't grow up with that many people, and families are different everywhere. Perhaps I am not getting lists because they figure they can take back whatever I get them. Hunh.

Perhaps that is what I am finding a little rude, because I like to *think* about what I am getting people, make thoughtful, literally, decisions. To know that my decision could be so easily discarded and that I better pick a store that they can return the item to, is, somehow upsetting.

It's as though the person plots hmmm...what can I spend for the money you spent at such and such store.

Did you not notice that I took the time to pick you something out? You want the thrill of opening Something, but are going to treat it like a gift card.

I'm just sayin.'

Gifts are not everything. That is not what Christmas is about. But, I say, but I mentioned that I like some of these people a LOT, and I like to give to them. It's fun, it's loving.

Crazy me, I want them to like getting something that they wanted, too. That's why I'd like a list to help me know that I'm hitting somewhere close to the mark. In this economy, in my world, that is only fair.:)

As far as emotionally prepping for holidays, I am starting to realize that there are certain triggers for me, for my illness having a better hold on me and bringing me down.

For instance, the whole what do you do for a living thing and comparisons to others. I must fight, Fight, FIGHT against thoughts of comparisons negatively to others, as the overwhelm of so many people is already difficult for me.

Others are not doing this to me. Low-self esteem or lack of acceptance of myself for myself over the years past - and I am in my head and no one else - has been the most contributing factor to down feelings and thoughts I think when I am around large groups of people.

I am never treated like a leper or anything unkind, quite the opposite, I am very accepted for my quiet ways into husband's family and I must take that to heart.

I must also take care not be the 'energizer bunny,' to be overly manic, cause I get so thrilled and overwrought being around sooo many people. I have been through it a couple times and I am preparing myself to come through with brainwaves (emotions) that are not all over the place.

I am home cleaning today. I almost wrote I am in 'hope' cleaning today. Freudian slip. Hee hee.

Takin' the dogs to Christmas

I think I am going to have some new pictures up on the 'Good Stuff' site, but I just have to find my camera from the Thanksgiving weekend!

Things are going fairly well. I'm getting ready for Christmas like many people. I have definitely decided to take the dogs with us to our relatives as it is just astronomical (the polar opposite to economical) to board them.

Even though Mia is rambunctious, hyper, manic - the whole nine yards around people and acts every bit the puppy even though she's 17 months old (I don't think it's normal) and Emma is security personnel and will probably bark at everything, we did get the okay from my husband's 90-year-old grandmother to bring them, bless her heart.

She is a wonderful lady lady, his grandmother. She is the last possible chance I have to having a grandmother that is all things wonderful, sweet and grandmotherly. My grandparents are all gone now, and my mom's mom was not the cookie baking or even happy type when when she came to live with us. So I soooo appreciate this woman and very much like being around her.

She does not understand bipolar and keeps wondering why I don't get a job, but she is still super kind to me anyway and seems very accepting of me. Now I can tell her I help clean up grants/proposals and am learning to write them for a non-profit and maybe that will stop the questions about it, and we can all be happy. She makes the best peanut butter balls in the world.:)

She was impressed when I was doing the baking thing, and just gets upset when I quit things.

I did get asked back to the baking thing and I am considering doing it, since it will be a little money and gas has gone down, maybe it won't burn all my gas money to go to it!

The Pug widget is down right now because the site is having technical difficulties. I am going to keep it up or reboot it or whatever is necessary, because I LOVE it!! So cute, I do nothing and have a Pug a day. What fun! (click on it to go to the site and there are still tons of Pug pics up to see:)

Thanksgiving; getting off of Seroquel

I had a good Thanksgiving. Went to the inlaws and MIL cooked the turkey lunch with all the fixin's including mashed potatoes, stuffing, gravy, a beautiful spinach salad with bacon and strawberries, carrots - lots of good stuff. I brought peanut butter cup cupcakes, I know, I got off extremely easily, but I can't see my MIL letting me cook in her kitchen, even if I knew how to cook a big turkey. That will be for Husband and I to figure out, maybe put it on this rotisserie thing we've got, someday!

My MIL is a good cook and does a fair amount of it and we had lots of leftover turkey. She would mix it with gravy and we could put it on the leftover stuffing or make sandwiches with it out of bread. I also learned how to make lasagna (at least, Her way, which of course, is the way Husband likes it!:) with cottage cheese. I know my Mom used Ricotta, but my MIL says that was a little 'bitter' and everyone liked the cottage cheese just fine. Interesting.

I got to hang around my BIL, and play the drums and sing on 'Rock Band' for the first time. Playing drums is hard, at least it is for me. I am much better on guitar. I sounded terrible singing but received far more 'money' for the singing gigs than guitar. Go figure!

Then there was the shopping. We went to a shop called, 'Steinmart' (seriously, not Walmart) where they would have these incredible discounts on things, even 75% off short sleeve men's shirts and they were quality shirts. I enjoyed myself greatly, spending a little over the $25 allotted for my family 'Secret Santa' as I got two quality articles of clothing for that amount - a white short sleeve shirt that reminds me of bicycle tops (and my Secret Santa person likes to bicycle a lot so it seemed perfect to me) and a very thick, brand name pullover with a half-zipper. I also bought a $5 silk shirt for Husband! That's the kind of bargains I found, or I should say my MIL lead me to, she is so good at finding these things!:)

We did get locked out of the car, but my FIL bailed us out and it was really no big deal, and then had a nice lunch at Quizno's. I think Subway is healthier somehow, but Quizno's prime rib sub sandwich is Yummy!!

I started dancing to a dancing cd yesterday. Exercise is really helpful for mood, that is so obvious to me. I am learning to 'latin dance' and it is fun. I may look ridiculous learning, but nobody's looking!:)

I have also been getting a little more sleep, now that I'm coming off the Seroquel, but it is often a struggle in the middle of the night. I find that I am so tired that I often go to bed early but now wake up in the middle of the night, unable to go back to sleep. I woke up today at 4:30 a.m. and that was it, I've been up ever since.

I used to think I needed tons of sleep. Now I'm thinking why sleep so much. Except that being that being medicated before made sure that I wasn't going to go manic over lack of sleep. Now, I have to be careful and make sure I get enough rest, but at this point I am happy with being off one med!!:)

I hope you had a good Thanksgiving and I look forward to catching up on all 'my' blogs. Have a great day!:)

Tart