I never told you about my two jobs. (Updated advice on Social Security).

Part of the reason that I think I hit a downward slope three/four weeks ago was that my schedule started being very apparent to me. Meaning, it started being very real that I had stuff that I had to be at nearly every day of the week, and it frankly got to be too much. These jobs, I have two, went by the wayside while I tried to recover.

Some people think that a person is not 'recovered' unless they hold onto a job. I don't think that is true at all. In fact, I have issues with the word 'recovery' especially when applied to mental illness, because I think what they are referring to is 'the journey' - not some supposed zenith of perfection, that the word 'recovery' seems to suggest. But I admit to using the word a little more sometimes, because more and more, it is being introduced as lingo in the mental health lexicon.

Anyhoo, my two jobs are:
1) The baking project, which I get paid a small amount for and is the project that I attribute my finally leaving my house to get out there and be employed. No minor miracle. It is actually run by a fabulous person who has mental illness herself and she is doing great things for us, one person at a time. It really is a beautiful thing.

2) Trillium Drop-in Center. I volunteered for them, mostly behind the scenes, for about a year, before being 'recruited' to a paid position. This job has proven to be difficult for me in some ways as I have direct, and unrelenting, contact with people. I think I would much prefer not to, I am not nearly as good at it as some facilitators are at dealing with people, but our wonderful Executive Director assures me that I have a place there, and that we all have gifts of some sort and do belong there. When I don't believe that for myself, I rely on her opinion, and that helps.

Both jobs were very understanding when darkness descended upon me and I needed home time to avoid the hospital. It is still a miracle and a testament to my husband's love that he kept me out. I have said that I thought it cruel sometimes, I still know that I was pushed farther than could ever be expected, but it has brought us closer together.

I never say very many nice things about my husband on the blog, and that is a shame. Because he really is a nice guy, a loving person, and he has my best interests at heart. I express my thanks right now, to him.:):)

So, I have these two jobs, very carefully crafted to Not go over the amount that the SS (Social Security) will allow. That is very important. I know people still come here, wondering if they can work while receiving disability. Remember, I have Bipolar and stress is a real issue in the illness. You can work, I have found, but you Must be VERY CAREFUL to never go over the line. The only reason I am doing this, working either/both jobs is that we are sooooo careful about not going over the line.

I have said previously, years ago, that I was burned by the system, that they were wanting a LOT of money from me and it about drove me into the hospital again. So my advice is be careful, but it can be done, especially with understanding bosses or work set-ups.