A meme: I say, you think:

This meme was off of Mike Golch's wordpress site.
I like it because no one said I had to use just one word!!

1. Contemplate :: How to do this meme!

2. In the house :: 2 Pugs (one very high-strung that barks a lot, it seems! Both cute as can be though!), a Siamese cat, me, and a computer that I love (I get a lot of fun out it!:)

3. Classical :: music. This kind of reminds me that I play my clarinet sometimes, which I still enjoy!

4. Quest :: for happiness. To provide better structure for my day. To reach out a little more in reality land.

5. Best friend :: My husband; a reality-land friend I have that I don't name on blog; and Tracy:) The last two may not be in that order!!

6. 1991 :: OOhhh!! This was such a good year!! I was in college, this was the year I met my husband (who was in the Navy at the time), and the year I fell in love with The Black Crowes.

7. Never will :: give up.

8. Fool :: try very hard not to be, which closes my world in.

9. Unhappy :: at various times. The nature of the illness is sometimes to be unhappy for no conceivable reason at all which makes me even more unhappy, when that happens!!

10. Best man :: My bro-in-law, who I just love to pieces! He forgot what he wanted to say at the wedding toast, but pulled out a piece of actual toast, and it was hilarious! I love him for being him!

1. Contemplate ::
2. In the house ::
3. Classical ::
4. Quest ::
5. Best friend ::
6. 1991 ::
7. Never will ::
8. Fool ::
9. Unhappy ::
10. Best man ::

If you do it, let me know!:)

Prayers.

Today I would like make a list of people I am praying for and for what.

It is very much because of blog world that I have become aware of needs in my small world of Other People, and if you want to think about these wonderful people sometime during your day, I invite you to do so.

My friend Tracy, who Needs very much to find a doctor to help her with her fibermyalgia specifically and one who will understand her bleeding disorder and lead poisoning issues as well. Please pray that she will find one soon that will stop her from having to ration her pain pills and be in terrible withdrawal. It makes me cry, because she is a wonderful, SWEET person who does not need to be put through this foolishness.

My friend Stacy, who is Tracy's twin, who is struggling with a son who is very beloved and bipolar and who tries her, and has had a hard week with her job. I am so blessed to know her in blog world and I find her to be an utter delight. I LOVE her comments here on my blog, and I am so glad to know that she is a real person and she deserves to know I pray for her.:)

Mike Golch, a fellow blogger, and a friend to many, as he often sends out prayer requests for deserving bloggers everywhere. Mike, you don't know it, but you give so much, and I'm sorry for the seizures that you suffer often and are a significant bother for you. I think about you often and pray for you.

I add a prayer here for a friend of a friend, in the real world, that I know that I don't talk to often anymore but hear about through a friend.

This person's girlfriend just had a heart attack. She was suffering seizures yesterday, but today is in stable condition, although she is on a respirator. She owns her own house, but if she survives this ordeal she will have to sell her house to pay for medical costs and live in a nursing home. I don't know how much of her life she will be able to regain after this ordeal. I still hope that she can regain strength and I am thinking of my friend who is sad about his girlfriend.

I know I haven't 'covered' everybody, but these are just some that I think of and thought could use a tiny shout-out from my corner of the world.

My world has been greatly made better by being on blog and finding out the needs of others. Blessings to all in blogger land.

Improvement

Whew! Within a day - thank God!

Things that cheered me up after having my brain chemicals wreak havoc on me:

1. My brain chemicals let up on me just a little allowing me to think. Thanks Brain Chemicals!!

2. I performed my face regimen: I had ordered Mary Kay from a friend, so I did my cleanser, toner, and moisturizers, pulled my hair back in a pony tail (because it’s greasy and I can’t handle the thought of a shower right now, soooo sorry), put my contacts in and considered makeup – maybe after exercising which should prove to be a big picker upper later on after I digest cheer-up # 3.

3. Ordered Chinese food. I am now full, and full of hot & sour soup, which is such comfort food for me I cannot express. I don’t know how to make it, therefore I order.

4. I had good telephone calls, that cheered me up immensely and made me know that I am loved. Thank you truly from my heart for those calls. Several were made by me out to the world, but it’s the one that calls in to check on me that is truly kind.

5. I am considering scrapbooking. Nothing serious like my wedding pictures that are an ongoing thing, but a bunch of cards that I have received, like for my birthday and for my Dad’s bereavement, so I can flip through and feel the warm fuzzies. I am trying figure out the best way to deal with those acidic (the paper, not the sentiment, hee hee!) little cards. What a problem.

6. Working on that cross stitch for a Mom that is due TOMORROW (what that must be like interests me greatly, and I feel for her, I really do). Can’t wait to find out Baby’s name.

7. Working on crochet projets (yes, that’s French for project, cause crochet was originally a French word. Yup.)

8. Love up a critter. Reese kitty is always trying to warm his lovely chocolate-colored feet on me. Sometimes I take advantage of it and let him love me.:)

9. Not to mention writing this all out. That helps me mucho greatly.:)

I am just sharing some things that cheered me up, because I printed such a downer below and I did find ways to work on shaking it. It’s a process of forcefully shaking it, not hoping to shake it. Something had to be done, and it's the little things that often help me.

I’m not working on the grant stuff right now, maybe mulling it around in my head. The thing now is the letter that will open doors, that’s a little bit of pressure, but I think I have most of the info needed to do that. Anyway, this is life for now. Ups downs and all arounds.

bipolar has it's week.

I have been trying to think of a way to express myself on blog about what I have been feeling lately, since last night. I started posts, but kept erasing them.

I googled 'pit of despair' this morning, there's stuff on there about the stock market 08, so I feel I can talk about my piddly problems.:) That is some kind of joke, I think, for anyone who cares.

I am at Such A Low, there are almost no words. I know that I don't have a huge support system, not on the web or in life and I am barely hanging by a thread. That is the truth. There are tears flowing down my face. I don't think I make sense anymore. This one is a doozy. I'm going down for the count. I am thinking of ways to off myself and they are scary. There are not a lot of options today.

This is making me simultaneously angry. I have stuff to work on. I have some goals I thought. Oh! And I didn't mention that I singlehandedly started a fundraiser for the Drop In Center (I wrote a few posts down what the heck that is).

Seriously. I got a flyer in the mail for a local dollar store that does fundraisers for non-profits made the calls after talking to the people at DIC and set the thing up. So I should be thrilled that I Accomplished something. Not so, so much. I'm dreading standing outside the building on the chosen day and handing out flyers. It's never enough.

Back to being angry and monstrously sad (nearly simultaneously), is this the crazy almost no-name illness that no one gives a d*n about?

I have tried so hard to accomplish things only to have the illness try so hard to take it away. That makes me bawl just writing it.

Huuuuuuuggggs & blessssings to everyone.

PS- My therapist who I saw on Monday, says last week was hard on a lot of people. She doesn't know if it's the full moon, the change in the weather, or her lack of skills (that was my input here, and no where else) but people are Feeling Bad. Just a note.

Bodacious Blog Buddies Award

Mike over at http://mjgolch.wordpress.com/ is giving this wonderful award out to his blog list. I don't have a blog list but I would like to give this award to a few people:

Tracy

Stacy

Denise

Raine

Jena

:) Considered yourself awarded, Bodacious Buddies!!

The ABC's of grant writing

Raine asked an interesting question: “so you like ask for grants ? is that it?”

Well, there’s a lot to it that I am finding out about. The long story is this:

1) You’ve got to Find the Grants (lots of research)
2) You’ve got to Apply for the Grants (lots of writing & proof-reading & having the info to put in them.)

We’re talking about grants for a non-profit, which is where the majority of grants are, as opposed to an individual or a for-profit business.

This means the organization has done the legwork and has received the Non-Profit 503 (c)(3) designation from the IRS.

My wonderful person that I am working with explained to me that the organization is like a stool, with the organization being the top flat part of the stool itself, and the consumer being the ‘butt’ that sits on it (and in this case rests its weary soul upon it!). The $money$ that supports the organization is the four legs of the stool:

1) Government grants
2) Fundraising
3) Corporate/Foundation Grants
4) Selling things and making a profit for the organization

These four things are the money sources that keep a non-profit going. And they need money all the time, for everything from administrative costs, to paying for the light bill, to food for the consumers (the folks that show up every day and are the reason the place exists!).

I am working on corporate grants for the food program at the Drop In Center. This wasn't too hard as I found the right phrase to put into Google and I was set! I was so excited when I found the pages on the internet where it directs you to apply for a grant from say, the local grocery store foundation!

Sometimes you apply with their form, sometimes you conjure up a letter to ask them for the privilege of being thought of at their next board meeting for a grant – to start the process.

So, now that I have found a few grocery store foundations that may possibly give money, I must start a) filling out the forms they have provided or b) send a letter to tell them of our need. So there is writing involved especially when thinking of what to say in that letter.

Also, there is a lot of grant writing to do, since apparently often only about 1 out of 2 or 3 grant requests actually gets filled. That means a lot of work just to receive the monies needed to run a program.

You don’t know if all or one of your requested grants are going to be filled. It could literally be feast or famine for the Drop In Center’s food program, unless we make a concerted effort to write out about six grant requests to make sure we are safe, in the effort to make sure we get two actually granted. Whew! That’s a lot of work!

There’s a lot of writing and thinking about writing involved in this. I can only do what I can do a little at a time, to wrap my head around all the little parts involved in a large grant package/proposal. But it’s a challenge I’ve accepted. I’ll keep you updated.:)

Delving into the world of Grants!

I spent much of my day researching places that could be potential 'givers of money' for a particular reason for the Drop In Center.

Wow! It was a lot of fun, especially when I found my first address that I could send a request to!

I was hopping up and down for joy and praising God for leading me on this path, and frankly for helping me, when I don't quite know what I am doing.

I know He's leading me and I'm happy about it. I have prayed to be led the way He wants me to, and although these things take time, both my being led & grant writing in general, I am feeling GOOOOD about it.

I am thinking of suggesting a crochet class at the Center, and maybe the products made by people could be sold, for fund-raising purposes.

I know they will say, 'Hunh, I wonder who could teach that class?:)' If they are thinking it's me that will be INTERESTING as I have been avoiding teaching anything most of my life, especially the technicalities of making something. They may not like the idea at all for all I know.:)