My Goodness!! Has it really been since October 2011 since I posted??!! Well, I must change that!

I got through Christmas. I had such plans to make stuff for Christmas, lots of stuff for all the babies in the family but that required sewing and I kept putting it off.

BUT I did knit a few things!!:) I knit two scarves, one a nice man's scarf, and the other a very pretty scarf out of fancy yarn. It had little bits of sparkle to it. I used a pattern from one skein wonders book called the 'Pandora' scarf - it's knit on the bias. I forget the name of the yarn but it was fancy and it changed colors from aqua to blue to lavender and purple. Lovely! I gave that one to my mother in law.
I think she is enjoying it. I know she showed it to her Bridge group who are knitters.

I sent baby towels from JCPenney instead of sending the baby towels that I Meant to make (and...never did).I was going to make hooded baby towels out of regular towels and put an applique and bias tape around (such plans!)

I also held onto the baby doll/rag doll that I made from a kit from Walmart, because my first attempt at making a doll's reversible dress didn't turn out so great. But I love the dolly.

All of this would go great on my 'Good Stuff' blog but it's been my experience that if I try to cut and paste out of here and put this on my other blog it will mess up.

On a professional note, I spoke in front my state's budget committee about the importance of funding for mental health in the beginning of January. That was a very satisfying experience. We had to wait half the day to speak but it was very worthwhile.

Then late in the January I and a fellow presenter did a NAMI 'In Our Own Voice' for a local community college and that one went very well!! The audience was very receptive and their questions were very good. They also came up and thanked us after the presentation.

And biggest of all, I got asked, and accepted, to be on the Board of Directors at work!! I help advise on things. My boss said it was my insightfulness and judgment that they wanted on the Board. How great is that!!:)

Ok I'll sign off for now. Hope all is well in Blogland!:)

Projects, projects - Autumn is coming.

Hello! Five months since the last post!? What is that about? :)
Well, I am here today. I have been doing well. I am getting more and more into my hobbies. I have completed my first sock, knitting-wise, and now working on the second of the pair. I am getting into sewing. There's a great new site (that I totally am not paid to shill) called 'Craftsy' and I am excited to say that I am getting ready to take the sewing class with Diana Rupp on that site. I will tell you how that goes after I take it. I have been working on some small sewing projects, including a rag doll for a relative's daughter and hooded baby towels for twin boy babies, hoping to get this all done for Christmas.
I am enjoying a time of eveness, although I say that and wonder a little when the other shoe will drop.
Oh big change, I am TRYing to do Weight Watchers again. When I am counting PlusPoints I actually lose weight. I have taken a little hiatus from it, and I need to get back on the bandwagon. It's the only thing so far that I've seen has worked for me.
Well it is getting late. Time to take the medicine. :) Hope all have a wonderful Labor Day and that all had a great Summer! Bring on Autumn - lets hope that it is fruitful and kind to all of us.

I am still here!!

Hello Blogworld, Things are percolating right along. Spring has sprung!! It is so beautiful around here. Sunshine. Flowers. The green, green grass of my neighborhood. (and dandelions!:)

I have been working on a few things here. I am still working at the Drop-In Center. I am also on a committee to help organize our county's Mental Health Awareness Day. I am still a presenter for NAMI's 'In Our Own Voice' program, and the coordinator for it for our county. I am doing well professionally.

More and more I am getting to help out my favorite cause (helping to break the stigma of mental illness and share my compassion as a person with others). Those of you that have been following the blog from that first post know that I have just wanted the opportunity to touch even one life, to share a commonality with others that yes, suffer, and also triumph daily over difficulty.

I am very happy to report that after all these years, since 2006 I think I started this blog, that I have been able to see good things in my actual life come about as a process in working in the mental health world as a person who has a mental illness myself! Wow! It really is something to get to say that on the blog.

No, I'm not going anywhere (not leaving the blog) in case this got you worried. We still need to talk about this stuff. I'll never stop wanting to talk about mental health. People need compassion and so so many of us need someone to talk to about these things. Just sayin' :)

I'm sign off this post for now. I wish you all a Great day!
Sincerely,
Jungletart

Today is a better day!! Yay!

So yesterday and last night I was tired, tired, exhausted so I finally took my evening medicine somewhere near close to when I am supposed to (9 p.m.) at actually 8:54 p.m. (a new record for me) and LOW and BEHOLD it worked it's magic and I went to bed at a somewhat decent time and woke up this morning at 6 A.M. bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and ready to go today! GO FIGURE!! Routine people. It can be a magical thing. Aaaannnnd, my medicine does knock me out when taken properly, that is a proven thing.

Rest makes all the difference in the world.

Happy Ash Wednesday!!

Well, Mardi Gras is over so I have taken down the beautiful purple Mardi Gras background and refound my lovely other day-to-day background! I like to keep up with the times and seeing how today (Ash Wednesday) begins a kind of holy time for many, I am just keeping up with it.

I know it's ridiculous to complain about it, but I am surrounded by Pugs and they make it difficult for me to type on here. Emma, my oldest, (dare I say sweetest?) Pug insists on wedging herself next to me and the couch arm, or just plain stepping all the heck over the laptop and doing nutty things with my computer, all by mistake of course. How kin I be mad at her? So's Blossom is peering to the left of me like 'How come's the other one gets the special spot, I wanna lay on you too??? Now she has decided to curl up next to me and they shall take naps. :):)

Tomorrow is another Day.

I was just exhausted today but I do feel better after sleeping a few extra hours this morning.

I am coming to acceptance that perhaps as a bipolar happening I've got these seemingly enormous ebbs and flows of energy sometimes. I am able to get marvelous things done at times and complete tasks and complete projects that make me happy (knitting, sewing, work for work) and yet other times I cannot keep up with all that. I get tired or down or just not able to function so well. And marvelous of all, I am not beating myself up about this, I am simply being and holding onto my Scarlet O'Hara (Gone With The Wind) belief that "tomorrow is another day." It is a good moment still for me, peoples.

I have been looking and having a blast skipping around the internet looking at knitting and sewing blogs, Pug blogs, and even delved into Artfire.com today ~ looking and soaking up the 'Good.'
Recently I bought a book on sewing cute little toys and dolls (Sew It, Stuff It by Rob Merrett) and have had a grand old time imagining and thinking about making a few things.

I got some projects done for Christmas last year (2010) including a baby blanket for a family member (knitted) and chicken shaped sachets for all the female family members in my extended family (and that was at least 11 people I was sewing for) and a cross-stitch for my MIL and got it all done in time to take to Christmas. That was a blast now that I think of it, but a good bit a stress up until the point that I did get them done, as it did get down to the wire.

It would thrill me so to have the energy to really sew a lot of things and sell them and share the love with others. Maybe I could think about this and work on things and do a craft show once in a while.

Have a Great Day blog world!

Sometimes I feel like it doesn't matter what I do; it's going down the drain anyway ~ or at the very least, to describe it, I get full of negative thoughts and start going down that very awful winding path down.

I have come to understand through paying attention to an affirmation tape (CD) of mine that it is up to me to fill my mind with positive thoughts. It becomes a one foot in front of the other endeavor.

Then I start to feel that the little things I do DO matter.

And then I start to see or feel better or see positive results from that.

And that's a thought for the day that I think I'll leave at that.

I procured an African Violet today.:)

Although I am still feeling the effects of my back hurting I had a good day.

Yesterday, I discovered that I have a reusable HotCold pain relief compress and that is in the freezer right now, waiting to be used. I did use it yesterday and I think it helped actually.

I work on Saturdays, and went to work as usual. My boss came in and asked me if I would like to go on a road trip. One of my co-worker's daughter's office was moving and they/she was giving our non-profit first pick of anything they were planning to discard in the office!! So we found some things that will be a wonderful addition to our Center.
Along the way, I found an African violet, very small and not blooming in any way and asked if I could have it. They said yes, and I have the little Violet here by the computer. I am thinking of taking pictures as I am sure I can get it to grow and flourish. I love plants, really the creative process of any kind. I am looking forward to attempting gardening when it gets warm too.

Greetings and Oysters made me feel better today.

My Gosh!! It's literally been months since I've said anything on the blog. Well, as I sit here wriggling in back pain, seemingly unable to fully support my back for a lengthy amount of time, I think it's time I said something on here!! Hello, blogworld!
Each time I think of something to say, I think how absolutely boring it sounds, like how I've had a cold for WEEKS now. My place of work is a hot-bed of germs to be honest and it seems each time I've got this thing nearly licked, it rears it's raspy, throat-junked-filled, ugly head and I am now prone to thankfully only occasional fits of coughing at this point. Yay me!!
Today I did something fun. I shucked oysters and ate them!! Yes, it made my annual visit to not my favorite restaurant much more fun this year as I was busy working on those oysters.
Explanation: For his birthday, we take one of my very good friends to his favorite restaurant, we call it the annual visit, I won't even grace the place with it's name here. Normally, I feel somewhat uncomfortable there, but this year I actually had a good time there. They brought out a bucket of these oysters and a shucking knife and cute little fork. I was a little at a loss as how to open them as some were very shut and had to be pryed open with said knife, but I considered it an adventure.
Then for a rousing game of Scrabble with my friend, which I was soundly winning, before Husband and I had to go home.
And that is how my day is going right now. My back hurts but it was an interesting day.

Seem to be busy these days!!

The three things I seem to be doing this Fall are: working at the Drop-In Center, taking a class in knitting and k-nitting my heart out, and scheduling 'In Our Own Voice' presentations.

I also cook dinners a lot since we seem always out of money and eating out is a big no-no.

Oh, and controlling the Jungle when they are hungry like right now and the Pugs want to go after the poor Siamese kitty.

Speaking of kitty, he had lost 2 pounds in a year which the vet said was the equivalent of a person losing 30 to 40 pounds in a year for no reason. They wanted to do more blood work on him, which I said okay to and it came up with nothing wrong with him. Then they said the next thing is an x-ray or sonogram.

He is a happy purry, active kitty. I absolutely do not have the money for x-rays and sonograms and didn't really have the money for the blood test. I have to fight against the feeling that I am a 'bad Mommy' for fighting the 'authority' of the vet, but at the same time if Reese is dying he sure is the 'happiest dying cat I've ever seen.' So I have resigned myself to loving and feeding my cat as much as he can stand of the wet food and leaving it at that. He is 'lording' over my laptop and now on my lap as we speak, purring away and I hope for the best for him. I hope you all don't judge me.

I'm still hanging on mood-wise. I often expect the other shoe to drop in the Fall time as this seems to be the difficult time for me. And I have had some days of depression that I could not pin-point the reason and I chalk it up to the bipolar. But I do hang in there when it counts (like scheduling presentations or trying to be 'present' at my job or meeting new people at a night class) and I'm still at the point where I am enjoying my hobbies, which is a sign that I'm still in some other stage than the full-blown depression (where I can't handle much and hobbies are out of the question).

Okay, the Pugs are REALLY going at it ~ I guess they need a feeding and I need to work on my sock! (Just started my very first one last night. Knitting socks has been a dream of mine for a very long time - Joy!). When I first looked at the needle set-up and the pattern I thought, 'No way!' but my teacher assures me that I can do it!!

I wish good good thoughts and luvs to my blog friends and hope that you are all doing okay.:)
Most sincerely,
The 'Tart

We are on Retreat!

I gave my presentation today for my co-workers on 'Refuting Irrational Thoughts' and it went splendidly. I was organized, with hand-outs, and as the cherry on the sundae, I made little 'Affirmation' cards for each person and I think several people really liked them.

The best part about this experience so far has been the hot tub. I've been in it each night we are here. It rained All Day today, including this evening, but 5 of us were determined to get in the hot tub tonight regardless of being pelted with showers. And we stayed in it even though it's temperature had cooled down so much.

Tonight six of us went to a seafood restaurant buffet and tore it up. One guy was amazing, with several plates of seafood, a plate of salad, and a plate of fruit > 5 PLATES o' food! How we amuse each other.:) Glorious!

I am very tired right now, as I have taken my medicine and it is kicking in. Talk...soon...later.
:) Tart

It's my birthday!!

Raine was concerned if I was still alive and kickin' and I just wanted to let her know, and anyone who is interested, that I am very okay and having a great day today!:)

I have been busy and that is why I didn't write. Just in general, with work, resting from work, and doing NAMI's 'In Our Own Voice.'

I went to my in-laws for my birthday and went to an outdoor craft show today. Ugh! It is so hot and sweaty out there and that was not so much how I would spend my birthday. But it is fun to see all the crafts out there and the crafters.

I didn't have a panic attack outright, but there were moments where there was no wind to speak of, bright sun beating down, I'm sweating, and there were all these people around me. Not a good combination. I was like, I need to get out of here NOW! I even rested on some stairs, and I made it back okay, all said and done.

Then, onto TGIFriday's for drinks and appetizer annnnd getting embarassed by the waitress staff. She 'sensed' it was my birthday after Hubby let it slip that it was my special day. Ah, the mirth and fun - they asked me to stand and be sung to, which was fun, actually. There weren't a lot of patrons in the house anyway.

My MIL is cooking surf and turf for us for dinner! I know I am very lucky to have these things in my life. Hopefully so lucky that I win the lottery as I bought a ticket today - ha haaa!!

I have the same birthday as Shania Twain and Leanne Rimes. So wherever you are ladies, I raise my birthday glass to you!:)

I hope all are well in blogland.:)

That is an egret, I think, taken with my ancient little digital camera. I am lobbying for a new camera and even picked it out. Just waiting to have money to get it, ha!

Anyway, this was taken on one of our trips on the boat.

Writing Friday

I had a very wonderful Friday, in the sense that I wrote and wrote and wrote ~ tons today. In my notebook. Long-hand. 15 pages. It makes me feel good to do it.

I'm thinking of taking the time to type out all that I wrote and timing myself to see how long it takes. I also wrote a three-page letter to someone that I know cannot read my writing so that will definitely have to be typed as well.

It's ragingly hot here. My desktop weather.com says it felt like 100 degrees outside today. It is just too much. If you have A/C, stay inside. If you don't, go to the library and sit in the A/C, go somewhere that has it.

Thank you, Raine for encouraging me to keep writing on the blog.

I learned about Advanced Directives on Thursday, how to write them and it's about encouraging people to write them.

Advanced directives are about writing what you want, in terms of a psychiatric advanced directive what you want or don't want done in the case of a psychiatric emergency. If you want or don't want certain medications, who you would like or not like to visit you, etc. - it's about making decisions while you are well for those times that you may be unwell and unable to express what you want. Our state seems to be getting more and more interested in helping the mentally ill help themselves, and this is a big one in the advance in that direction.

I may be helping people with them at the Drop-In Center, but I am definitely not an expert so it may be a long time before that happens.

I've got an 'In Our Own Voice' presentation on Monday for our local Clubhouse staff.

Went fishing last Sunday. I used small minnows for bait and for the first time in my life I actually caught three little small-mouth bass. It was a thrill. That little boat and this new discovery has been the best investment. Summer = fishing.

I am also working on an easy slipper pattern in knitting. And I bought some pea green yarn to do a baby blanket. The mom-to-be chose that color in her nursery so I know she likes it. I picked a Lionbrand.com free baby blanket pattern knit it in.

The Jungle is doing well. Little Blossom Pug has a tooth issue that can wait till February so at least I can save up money for that. Both Emma Pug and Blossom will have to have Bordatella and dog virus shots for when they are boarded for this Christmas (it's a Wisconsin year!).

Reese, my beautiful Siamese on the other hand lost 3 pounds in one year and that really concerns the vet. They did tests and he does Not have kidney issues or Thyroid issues, common ailments for older cats (beautiful or no, that's a joke) thank God. So they dared to suggest Cancer. I said no, maybe I haven't given him wet food in a while. Maybe his teeth are bad and he does not like dry food. They said feed him all you want for 2 weeks and then re-check him for weight gain. So I feed him wet food three times a day in the hopes to fatten him up. He LOVES it. Eats it right up. Nothing wrong with his appetite. :)

He loves to be up on the table where my laptop is. My desktop died a few months ago and Husband set me up with a laptop (never underestimate his computer powers - he puts these laptops together himself, he's a computer geek for a living!!)

So now you know what I've been up to lately. I hope everyone is well, and doing the best they can in blogland. :)

Wow! So much to talk about!

I am feeling better these days. Actually, I still have
D
O
W
N
S

quite a bit, since I tend to be a depressive. My husband noted the other day that I don't seem to have manias. Maybe he is talking about those big manias that send me to the moon (I've had a few in this lifetime, but not recently).

Yesterday in fact, I had an AWful morning, where I was overwhelmed, unable to get it together, feeling quite low, worthless, sad, yes even suic*dal (can I hide that with no disclaimer?). I reached out to a friend, who wasn't available at that moment (but who did call me back later, which cheered me up immeasurably).

I began to write, for myself, not here to be shared, but opened a Word document and began to rant. Oh it was sweet relief, and instantly focused me. The power of expression and the written word!

I was invited by friends to spend the day, and after some Easter shopping at Walmart, I did so and it was like night and day for me. I'm telling you how I got through.

I have been working, working, working at the Drop-In Center, and have therefore not been here to tell you about it. I have two, count 'em, two In Our Own Voice presentations scheduled this month. We have only done one so far, in January. That one I told you about in February got canceled due to snow. I have been busy and it's exciting stuff!

I have discovered the greatest little EASY pattern for knitting slippers and work on it when I can. It's hard to get anything done when I am either tired and/or the Pugs want to jump all over me. I admit frustration when their tiny hairs overwhelm me too. I think about finding Pugless places to knit so I can set up shop and go at it! It's a fact of life to have either Pug hair or Siamese kitty hair on me.

We have been moving one of my best friends into his new digs this weekend. I am so proud of him. Tomorrow, Easter Sunday, I am presenting my husband and two friends (who are like family) with Easter baskets. I am excited! I can't wait to see if they love everything that I have put together. We are all going out to eat together too. I am blessed that I have made a few more good friends in this past year.
Truly blessed.
I hope that you celebrate Easter as you wish, feel God's love on this special day, and know that the 'Tart wishes you well!:)

Must bring attention to: The Snuggles Project

If you love animals and making things (crochet, knit, quilt or sew) then you will probably be interested in The Snuggles Project. It's making and donating blankets for animals that are in shelters, where the floor can be cement or other harsh, cold environments. Check it out!

http://www.snugglesproject.org/component/option,com_frontpage/Itemid,1/

Life is better without sickness!!

It feels Sooo Good to not be as sick as I was! I have energy I feel so good!:) Can we have a halleluah!!!! Say: You know it, Girl!!!

I have gotten a few things done today.

Tomorrow is an 'In Our Own Voice' presentation, weather permitting.

Good stuff, good stuff, good stuff!!:)

The NAMI presentation 'In Our Own Voice' went great, fantastico, wonderful!! We knocked their socks off!

You are presently reading the blog of the new In Our Own Voice Coordinator for our County!! Yes, I agreed to be the Coordinator for our County, which is a volunteer position, but will be helpful to our program.:):):)

I also was able to get the Red Cross to come to our workplace to teach our staff CPR and First Aid, which impressed my boss because apparently they had been trying for some time to get that to happen, and I got it done!

Also, I organized a crochet class for work. I am in charge of getting supplies and I have checked all the ads for LYS (Local Yarn Stores) in my area, found who has the most inexpensive prices for yarns, printed all my coupons and I will be ready to go tomorrow hitting three stores to use my 40 and 50% off coupons. I'm a happy little shopper.

I've also been finding my instruction booklets for crochet that I find the most helpful and I think will help others, and I am going to find the section on the http://www.lionbrand.com/ site that has instructions for crocheting in the round, because you can make flowers, doilies and hats with that technique. Lionbrand.com is a great resource for over 3,000 free patterns for knitting and crocheting and even has videos, a newsletter, etc. I love it.

On a more personal note, I STILL have the cold, going on two weeks now, the coughs at night sound horrible but for some reason during the day I just sound hoarse. Thank you all for your good thoughts and prayers during some of these recently stressful times. I wish the best for all of you.:)

Mental Health Matters

I am going to speak in front of my state legislature budget committee on Friday, specifically to address the enormous budget cuts my state is eyeing in terms of mental health (they are slashing everything and mental health services are one of the things on the chopping block).

I must get up super early in the morning to meet everyone at 7:30 a.m. to drive to the meeting, sign up at 9 a.m. and speaking starts at 10 a.m. We get three minutes each. I am still figuring out what I will say, to write on 3x5 cards.

Wish me luck!:)

Back from Christmas ~ looking forward to a New Year!:)

Oh! Well, I am back from Christmas with my inlaws and am loving life. I am so excited because I am having a New Year's party!

I am looking forward to the party and having just a few guests, and am glad that some of the uncomfortable-ness-es of Christmas are over. I enjoyed some aspects of Christmas (it was nice to see my MIL enjoy and like a sweater that I got her, which is honestly the first time I tried to give her clothes. That was very satisfying) and had fits/meltdowns occasionally too.

These were witnessed by my husband only and he seems used to them although he told me to 'take a pill' at one point. Which I did end up doing, and ended up sleeping it off for a few hours. I got upset about 'being upset' like what the h*** is wrong with me, I felt like a failure actually. But what can I do but pull myself together and go on.

I am quite comfy at home and am glad to be back. And am now looking forward to my party, which as I said will be small but I hope fun. I will get out the karaoke machine (I have an ancient one!) have some food and some sparkling cider for a toast. And some good friends and a wonderful husband.

I hope that the New Year is kind and blessed for my blogger friends and hope that we all get through the holidays as best we can. I wish love and peace for you all.
Sincerely,
'Tart