Writing Friday

I had a very wonderful Friday, in the sense that I wrote and wrote and wrote ~ tons today. In my notebook. Long-hand. 15 pages. It makes me feel good to do it.

I'm thinking of taking the time to type out all that I wrote and timing myself to see how long it takes. I also wrote a three-page letter to someone that I know cannot read my writing so that will definitely have to be typed as well.

It's ragingly hot here. My desktop weather.com says it felt like 100 degrees outside today. It is just too much. If you have A/C, stay inside. If you don't, go to the library and sit in the A/C, go somewhere that has it.

Thank you, Raine for encouraging me to keep writing on the blog.

I learned about Advanced Directives on Thursday, how to write them and it's about encouraging people to write them.

Advanced directives are about writing what you want, in terms of a psychiatric advanced directive what you want or don't want done in the case of a psychiatric emergency. If you want or don't want certain medications, who you would like or not like to visit you, etc. - it's about making decisions while you are well for those times that you may be unwell and unable to express what you want. Our state seems to be getting more and more interested in helping the mentally ill help themselves, and this is a big one in the advance in that direction.

I may be helping people with them at the Drop-In Center, but I am definitely not an expert so it may be a long time before that happens.

I've got an 'In Our Own Voice' presentation on Monday for our local Clubhouse staff.

Went fishing last Sunday. I used small minnows for bait and for the first time in my life I actually caught three little small-mouth bass. It was a thrill. That little boat and this new discovery has been the best investment. Summer = fishing.

I am also working on an easy slipper pattern in knitting. And I bought some pea green yarn to do a baby blanket. The mom-to-be chose that color in her nursery so I know she likes it. I picked a Lionbrand.com free baby blanket pattern knit it in.

The Jungle is doing well. Little Blossom Pug has a tooth issue that can wait till February so at least I can save up money for that. Both Emma Pug and Blossom will have to have Bordatella and dog virus shots for when they are boarded for this Christmas (it's a Wisconsin year!).

Reese, my beautiful Siamese on the other hand lost 3 pounds in one year and that really concerns the vet. They did tests and he does Not have kidney issues or Thyroid issues, common ailments for older cats (beautiful or no, that's a joke) thank God. So they dared to suggest Cancer. I said no, maybe I haven't given him wet food in a while. Maybe his teeth are bad and he does not like dry food. They said feed him all you want for 2 weeks and then re-check him for weight gain. So I feed him wet food three times a day in the hopes to fatten him up. He LOVES it. Eats it right up. Nothing wrong with his appetite. :)

He loves to be up on the table where my laptop is. My desktop died a few months ago and Husband set me up with a laptop (never underestimate his computer powers - he puts these laptops together himself, he's a computer geek for a living!!)

So now you know what I've been up to lately. I hope everyone is well, and doing the best they can in blogland. :)

Snow in the Jungle!

Here in the land of this JungleTart we are experiencing Massive Snow. Two feet is on the ground already and 10 to 20 more inches expected in the next day or so.

Please let that sink in.

This is a place that just doesn't experience things like this. This is not Wisconsin. As a matter of fact, my husband's 91-year-young Grandma has been calling us to gloat and frankly laugh at us!

We are exceptionally lucky and blessed as a large evergreen tree went down in our backyard and went in the best possible direction - away from the shed, all other trees and best of all - away from from our house. We also have our power, knock on wood that it continues, our electricity has not gone out at this time.

***
How have I handled the snowstorm and impending snowstorm as a bipolar? Well, to be honest I was kind of looking forward to it this weekend. It was the Laura Ingalls Wilder in me - have you read those books? I ate them up as a child and still imagine a day where I could farm, albeit I want to farm Alpacas, and live the simple life. I imagined being cozy in the house, maybe with some cocoa, covered in Pugs and knitting a slipper, all concepts that very well could have come true except for one thing I believe.

Antibiotics.

I officially have bronchitis, I was diagnosed last week, and have been taking my antibiotic as prescribed since then. I'm telling you it dilutes my psychotropics (medications for my bipolar). I'm telling you this not to say it's true for anyone else, as I would never want to presume for anyone else. But for me it feels that this is the second time that this has occurred. And because of it, it feels to me like I am less medicated and frankly this weekend was H*ll.

I couldn't sit still. I NEEDED to sit still and sleep and recover and Stop feeling Revved up. No doing. I was not fun to live with, I understand, since my husband pretty much ahem told me so.

I have a prn pill (that's a take as needed pill) that I take as a last resort to stop the madness. It pretty much knocks me out. I had to take it once a day, each day of the weekend. I hate to do that, but there was no peace without it. Without it were crying jags, practically running around the house (I was stuck in it, there was no going anywhere) one way or the other, feeling like I had to get a million things done yet a sense of complete ineffectiveness and a general sense of massive anxiety. Perhaps non-bipolars do not relate, I do not know. Maybe plenty of people do relate, I still don't know. But it was awful.

I had sincerely hoped it would be a good experience. I get excited about snow. It is utterly beautiful when it is coming down, especially if you don't have to go anywhere.

I survived this last one and I will survive.

If snow is in your life or in your forecast, I wish you all the beauty of it. I hope all are well. Sincerely.:)

Good day.

Had a good day. My friend is here. I made a batch of Hot & Sour soup for her. She liked it okay, except for the mushrooms. It made a nice lunch.

I did our nails and we got to talk a lot. It was a nice day.

Emma's eye is healing and she gets hopefully her last vet check for a while on Wednesday. It really was nasty for a while but is doing better because of the drops we've putting in.

I wish happiness for my blogger friends.:)

Emma's eye situation is very serious.

Emma, my oldest Pug (age 6), had eye surgery last Friday. Today she went into the vet to have a stitch taken out. She is back home. Emma-dog has a corneal ulcer and it is very serious. Someone very kind at the vet donated opthamalgic drops to us for use on Emma. It is really very kind of them because they are expensive drops. We have to give them to her every four hours, even getting up in the middle of the night to do so. It is an attempt to save her eye.

Please think good thoughts for Emma-Pug.

I have not mentioned our recent saga with Emma-Pug's eye. We are pretty sure that Blossom, our nine-month-old Pug accidentally scratched Emma's eye. It is a bad scratch. Emma is 6-years-old. I have been dutifully taking her to the vet to check on it for the last four weeks. I thought it was getting better.

This morning I took Emma for her eye check and my wonderful vet, who I know I can trust, said it was not getting better as a matter of fact, Emma needs eye surgery, NOW. Today. This was at 11 am today and I had to hand over my Baby and they are performing surgery today and we are to pick her up this afternoon/evening.

It is now 3:32 p.m. and I have not heard if Emma has woken up from anesthesia. I admit that I am worried.

I felt so bad that this happened in the first place because Emma is such a sweet girl and does not deserve this (well no dog does). It was an accident and we have been keeping Emma and Blossom apart, trying to feed them apart, let them outside apart.

Dear Blogland, please send good thoughts out that Sweet Emma will have a successful surgery, that she will heal up lickety split and that all will be well. Thank you.
JungleTart

***PS It is now 9pm and Emma is home with us with an Elizabethan collar (a little vinyl one, she looks like a morning glory:). She has one stitch that will be taken out on Wednesday. This is an important time for her healing. I keep praying for her recovery from this awful eye thing.***

Back from Vacation

I had a wonderful week, visiting my Mom. I went fishing, caught a Spanish Mackeral (a very weird fish with teeth!), saw dolphins, boated, saw beautiful beaches, ate the best shrimp ever, swam in the pool nearly every day (and got a rooster red sunburn mostly on my back!), had long talks with my Mom, and even played pool with my Mom. It was a very special time and she looks great. She is very healthy right now and happy.

I also visited my inlaws. It is always a bit of trial for me to go there. I am not sure what it is but I feel squashed there. The moods come up and there is strong encouragement, just by weird osmosis, for me to suppress who I am and what I feel. As long as I make everything look normal, they are happy. Wanda talked about 'undamaged wealthy people' on her blog, and I am sure that these must be them. The thing is that they are damaged people too, its just about suppression of their own selves and others, in this case anyway.

But when I get on the road and start coming home and listen to some music and talk to my husband eventually I shake off those bad feelings. I am so glad to be home and have the Jungle all together again. We brought the dogs with us and pet-moteled the cat. I know Reese kitty is glad to be home too (it's too loud for Princely kitties in the pet motel!)

The sunburn is bad, but the sunburn spray is Cold and icky so I am just handling it. It's good to be back and I will visit you all as I can.:)
Good times to you,
Tart

I have some pictures of my Spanish Mackeral catch that I can put up on the 'Good Stuff' blog. Give me a couple of days to get my pics loaded on the computer.:)

Blossom, the baby Pug, will be fine.

Turns out Tart has good Mommy sense and after taking Blossom to the vet on Thursday, it turns out she has a urinary tract infection. This explains also why potty training has not been going so well, she has been going in the house whenever she feels like it. Now she is on Clavomox, an antibiotic, to treat the UTI.

Happy Mother's Day from the Jungle.

Ah, a fresh post. A beautiful Sunday. Again, Happy Mother's Day.

I went with a friend today to check out possible new digs for her. A very nice complex and enjoyed lunch with her and hanging out and talking.

I also spent a few hours with Auctiva figuring out profiles and how to list and problem-solving. That Auctiva is really neat, because its the free site that has a constant slideshow of everything you are listing on each listing on Ebay, plus free nice templates too.

I am proud of myself because I saw it on another site and then checked it out and downloaded it myself and figured it out. That really did make me feel good. I would not let it be a mystery.

My friend and I stopped at a flea market today, which gave me the idea - what if we were to sell some of the books at a flea market? She has so many and will be moving soon, it would be nice to reduce the inventory.

She thinks this is a great idea and somehow when things involve her, she gets me moving and I actually follow through and get stuff done. Like the fundraiser we did at a dollar store, or even getting my angel pins done so I could donate and sell them for the Center. It makes me feel good to be part of something larger and I give what I can.

The Jungle is doing well. They are all healthy and have passed their respective exams by the vet. Well, Emma Pug is next for a wellness exam, to keep up with her shots, but Reese the Siamese did just fine for the Doc.

He was so manic when I brought him in, he got into every door they had and I had to pry him out from under their sink (it had doors - oh goody, he says!) and once I blocked that off he went for the doors on the wall that hides all the vet equipment.

All this between the time the tech left (after taking his temperature, How Undignified) and the doctor walked in! He does not act like this at home because it's not a new place with neat smelling stuff everywhere. He's a very smart, vocal kitty, too.

I know some people don't understand, but the Jungle are easily like kids for me.

I hope Mom's everywhere had a good day.

Go-in's ons in the Jungle:)

I haven't been in blogland for a bit.

I started walking with the Weight Watcher's Momentum Challenge. The goal (for some people) is to walk or even run a 5k race - I just want to go from couch potato to...being more fit.

But we meet each Monday evening to walk and have 'homework' - this week it is to walk 15 minutes a day for 5 days.

I have also been involved with my Ebay project. We sold a book! Yaaay! And I just downloaded Turbo Lister and have been trying to figure that out all morning.

Then there's the baking thing which I go to today, shortly. We have a new person which threw a wrench in it for me, as he talks NON stop but I am hoping that he will calm down, maybe he is just nervous. Hope so, because I promised I wouldn't quit over anything, not even annoying, stupid co-workers.

The A.C. is out and wouldn't you know it, it got hot around here. But a fan to cool me off, and I am feeling okay.

Blossom, (that is new puppy's name!) has started puppy school at the local pet place, and she will be getting spayed in early May. She is still learning to potty train, but doing so well for a four-month-old!! (Almost 5 months). She loves being around her mommy!

I have an appointment with a new therapist on Thursday. She sounds nice on the phone. We'll see how it goes, but I feel pretty positive about it.

New label: exercise! I haven't had that one on my blogs before because I haven't been trying consistently. Wow! New stuff.

Angel food cake for angels.

My vet hospital made a donation to the the county SPCA in Mia's name and I am so touched by this.

I don't have much to give, so I am baking an angel food cake for them to take to the new puppy's booster shot appointment on Tuesday. They also sent me a heartfelt card expressing sympathy for our loss. They really are caring people and its wonderful to be associated with them.

I got to buy an angel food cake pan yesterday. I've made angel food cake in baking class. It uses a lot of egg whites, which you can buy straight from the store now, that way you don't waste all the yolks (I thought that was a cool innovation).

It's because of the baking class that I thought to make a cake. I can't wait to tell my supervisor and her Mom (who helps out) at the bakery opportunity about it. I know that will make them happy.

Putty in the Paws.

I've been going through a med change, changing from Atenenol to Propanenol to help better with the shakes of Abilify. There have been a few days of jittery, anxious miserableness with that.

In the bigger picture, I finally left the puppy at home today, and went grocery shopping. It has been hard for me, because the two of us are attached at the hip ~ in a nutshell, I hate to see or hear her cry. I'm a softie for it. But it's got to happen sometimes and I want her to not have separation anxiety so she's got to be separated from me for short spurts. She recovered from all that just fine and she's back sleeping in my lap again.:) I AM PUTTY!!

The Puppy

So's I get a little sleep deprivation from the puppy but each night she sleeps a little longer and I am getting more used to her and she to me.

She is also having a blast playing with kitty and he with her. They have spurts of rabble-rousing play then they both crash and sleep (the puppy on me, the kitty in one of the pet beds around here - they're not sleeping together YET!!:)

This pug girl seems ahead of her time, at least developmentally ahead than our other Pugs at this age. She got up to the second step on of the stairs and was able to get down a step which is developmentally difficult for them at this young age (almost 9 weeks), but obviously not impo-ss-ib-le.

Sometimes she goes after things she shouldn't (like the edge of bottom of the stairs, or tries to pull apart a dog bed) but some Bitter Apple sprayed on the bottom of the stairs was a Big Deterrant and giving her a toy to chew on instead of the bed helped with that.

Blessing.

Tomorrow I pick up my puppy!

It has been hard WAITING for her all week, but it was the best thing for her and gave me some time to prepare for her arrival (food, puppy pads, her own new collar, a new little teddy bear chew toy and such!).

I have had flashbacks to what happened to Mia, that is an awful sight and something I don't want to ever happen again (as if I even know what really caused it in the first place). I just want to love and protect this puppy forever.

I feel much joy and happiness for this new creature. Tomorrow is the day!!:)

Lucky gal.

As I write this I am in a cranked out mood. Cranky. Trying to get over it, but that's life.

I have been working on fixing a jacket for someone at the Drop-in Center. He will pay me a little to fix it and it is frustrating me this morning, as it is suede and the needle I am using is large and I am having difficulty getting it through. Arggg!

The thing also smells because the jacket owner is a smoker and I sometimes must take breaks from it to get away from the stench.

Long-time readers may remember that the Tart use to smoke, for about 10 years, but I quit a few years ago, and yes it often now smells bad to me to be in the extreme vicinity of it. Not always, but I don't like being blanketed in it with the thing on my lap. Who knew?

I am also obsessively recovering from having my feelings hurt at the Drop-in Center yesterday. It only takes one comment sometimes to send me hurting and upset and then - mad, then upset again. I won't grace it with discussion except to say it was fairly small, and I need to get over it. Yes, Tart sensitive. Must stop it.

So to take a break, I got on the computer and started looking up favorite things to cheer me up.

Of course, the ultimate cheer-up is knowing I'm picking up my precious girl (my new fawn Pug puppy) on Saturday!! Yes, I found a precious girl and she will be ready to go home on Friday, but Saturday's the day we will pick her up.

We have taken two pictures of her and when I was going off and being so obsessive about my feelings being hurt last night, Husband brought up her beautiful face on the laptop and reminded me what was important in life.

I am so lucky that I have a good homelife and my pets to keep me company during the day. Sometimes I want to be around people and of course, now I feel 'burned' about going to Drop-in and want to just say well the heck with you, I'm going to have my puppy to love up and take care of.

I can't seem to do that quite yet, because I promised, or said that I would, go to the Executive Director's birthday party on Friday at the Center. I don't want to let her down but I don't really want to go there anymore, at least not the way I'm feeling right now.

I have done good work with them - a fundraiser, proofing a grant, sending out three letters of inquiry for food grants - I have given when all that some others have done is taken, and of course it's a 'taker' that makes a jealous comment about me because there is a genuine friendship between the Executive Director and I.

No wonder I am friends with the Executive Director, we are friends, we do get along so well, and no wonder that some people are just jealous beyotches and truth be told I hate jealousy because I just don't know what to say - I almost feel sorry for the other person but I get mad because they are attacking me. It's just so uncomfortable and unfair.

And then I spend time thinking of what I should have said. Yeah, like I need this.

And I said I wouldn't talk about it.

But, on the upswing, I'm getting a puppy and I know I'm a lucky gal for that.

Thank you all for your comments on the previous couple of posts. I really do appreciate them.

There's no replacement, only new love.

Thank you so much to all that commented on my last post.

I am much more at peace now. The thing that has made me feel better about losing Mia is the planning for getting another puppy. I know there are some that would say that seems sudden, or sheesh you must not care about Mia, but I so do. It is soo empty in the house without her around and the only thing that has finally made me feel better is finding a place where I can find my new puppy. That's been my burning desire and where I've been for the past few days.

No one else is going to be Mia. I know that. I hope to find a fun, mischevious doggie, a happy dog just like anyone would.

I am sure that most people understand why I would want to get another. Maybe I am nuts for wanting another dog, like I am nuts for wanting to have two dogs in the first place, but I know its not unheard of. Enough of that.

I also considered rescue, let's be clear on that, as rescuing a dog is a beautiful thing. I've rescued all of my cats really, and I'm glad for it. But I really want to take care of a baby dog, make sure she will get along with the critters that are already there and have no previous abuse on my animal to contend with. I'm sorry to those that might be disappointed that I have chosen not to go the rescue route with my dog.

I take care of my babies (pets) for life. I think about how they will fit in with each other. And if you haven't noticed, I have the time to take care of a puppy.

On happier notes I am really looking forward to this. It has given me something to look forward to and be happy about after the pain of losing my little Mia girl.

So on that note, I am going to be going to see puppies tonight! Wish me luck in finding my furever girl, for her new home.:)

I am in shock since yesterday. Something horrible has happened.

My little black pug, Mia, died unexpectantly and quickly in my living room. She just curved her body to the right and fell over and died.

This dog was so sweet, rambunctious, mischevious, fun, and so loving, she followed her Mommy everywhere and had the sweetest disposition.

We rushed her to the emergency vet, they tried to revive her to no avail. We had them perform a necropsy, which is to find out what she died of, but it was very inconclusive, except to say that she had an enlarged heart and the vet thinks it was vascular death - a heart problem that no one knew about.

Her heart was too big.

We are just so sad. I am crying this minute and the house is horribly quiet without her. I almost can't stand it. I am heartbroken.

Because Christmas is stressful enough.

This is great!! Sent to me in an email, for Pug lovers and stressed people everywhere (safe for children too:)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GVuBPaJsNQc

Aww I know I complained too much on the last one and I didn't mean it to sound as awful as it did.

My friends told me to live in the moment and not worry about or think too much about the future. Good advice.:)

I've got a little Pug on my lap sleeping away, at 10:33 a.m. That is so nice.

I wish everyone well.

Tart

Stylin' & Profilin'!

Ivy Mae from Elizabethtown, Kentucky. July 31 'Pug A Day' widget calendar.

Isabella Rose, from Romulus, New York, and today's (Aug. 2) 'Pug A Day' widget calendar.

What style on those profiles! Vive Pugs!:)

Emma, my older pug, who turns 5 on Aug. 6 (also the day they bombed Hiroshima AND Lucille Ball's Birthday, different years but by no coincidence I'm sure!!:) does not like hats, despite the ones we've bought her over the years. But we recently found out that Mia, my little black pug that just turned One days ago, didn't mind her 'birthday hat' at all, which gives us renewed hope that she will like hats.:) We're sick people - I mean aren't they so cute with a little bling, feathers, a coat or a hat? Well these two cuties from my 'Pug A Day' widget certainly are.:) Click on the widget and vote on your favorites.:)

Quick! Look at June 30th's 'Pug A Day!' widget

It's so cute! Awww! Love them pugs!