Okay, what would be the Jungletart blog without its yearly vacuousness of Oscar glee? Well, I'm not going into the entire winner's list, like always I want to herald the Tart's favorites!

MSN pic.

As some may remember, Ms. Jennifer Hudson was a fav pick of mine during her Golden Globe win. In case some folks can't put a finger on why this lil lady is such a fireball, they must have not watched the veritable 'contest' between Hudson and Beyonce during the Oscars. Ms. Hudson held her OWN, she has the voice, and obviously the talent to beat the contenders. I love the fact that she's got a caboose and then some. This was not about looks, it was finally about ability and its so obvious she is not afraid to bring it, no matter that others have the look, are more well known, etc. I know she fought to get this role and I see art imitating life here. Bravo, Jennifer ~ you made the Oscars worth watching and you do this Bipolar heart good.

exposay.com pic

My sweet Forest! Again, a Tart fav from the Golden Globes. A true gentleman and a great heart, his values and what he said is exactly what its all about. Something to the effect - I just wanted to share from my heart and bring out what is in all of our hearts, the common human experience. He tapped into why I love to write, why I don't give up on my dream to write a screenplay, to share human experience with everyone. Mr. Whitaker understands. I love him for that. It couldn't happen to a better guy.

Martin Scorcese with 2007 Golden, MSN pic

No, I'm not impressed with this one. Martin could not be more in the 'Good Ol' Boy Network' if he tried - he was literally handed the Oscar by The Director Brat Pack - George Lucas, Spielberg, and some other guy (going off memory here, cut me a break!). If I was more a believer in conspiracies, well, I'd smell one. "The Departed" won Best Pic, I think that's kind of a stinker (the win, honestly haven't seen the movie, so, again, this is personal opinion). I don't know, I just think it should have been more spread out. (Don't even get on me about this, I admit that I go on emotion more than knowledge sometimes. It's just entertainment, right? Sheesh.)

Besides Cate Blanchett being up for a supporting role in Babel (or was it Best Actress, well she didn't win anyway, okay?) we really didn't hear a peep from Babel. Perhaps because Brad Pitt didn't even show up? (I'm pretty sure E! and everyone else would have went gaga if he did!).

Here's one for you, while I'm on Pitt. Why does it seem he keeps going for the ugly and uglier look with each subsequent film? His first recognizable role to my knowledge was 'Thelma and Louise' (a classic, I love it. I am Louise.) where he was HOTter than hot and knew how to make every woman on the planet horny. (I'm pretty sure that's my first use of that word on the ol bloggeroo!) We welcomed his face in Ocean's 11 and 12, not that his performance stuck, mostly just his beauteousness. Anyhow, in trailers of Babel he looks pretty surly, icky and now for Benjamin Button he looks just plain ridiculously awful. (A movie recently in the can or soon to be. Filmed mostly in Canada. Sheparded by Angelina Jolie's constant prescence. She's not in the movie. How do I know these things? I pay attention and I'm sponge to my People magazine. :) Brad there's nothing wrong with it - GIVE IN to your hotness. Tart loves your Man-beauty. And so does everyone else.

Speaking of another guy going completely out of his zone (in my humble opinion) what the deal-e-o with Jim Carrey doing a thriller? Thriller in Tart's lame book means horror, for she (okay I) doesn't like the supernatural anything and admits maybe I always see too much in those things, hence I avoid. Look, Jim Carrey is one of the funniest guys on the planet, I do compare him to Robin Williams and anyone else that tickles the masses (people Liar, Liar maybe one of the greatest acts of physical comedy caught on tape and eclipses Jerry Lewis's 50's versions in general. God, I'm a guiness, yes this all comes out of my head.) and frankly, I think he carries even more of a name in the laugh-0, funny off the scale category. So what-the in going so vastly out of his genre and G-spot in life? I know "Number 23" has already apparently made more money than they expected on the first weekend (the media sounded so shocked when it did so I assume we're on the same boat here) but I don't care. I think it's an anomaly, like "look Bozo the clown's in the tiger cage." I think he's going to get eaten, or frankly should. I'm not taking away that he probably has the acting chops for this, and I assume that's what he's trying to prove, but it's uncomfortable and I want him to stop. Of course, I don't understand the public's apparent hunger for horror, so I guess I'm on the fringe with this one anyway. All I'm saying is, did Mike Myers already burn the silly-yet-fun franchise and there are no decent comedy screenplays, or will some brave soul please save Jim Carrey's and bring him back to where he belongs? I don't have to be popular on this, but I still may yet be right.

Alright, there's enough movie talk to tide you for a while.

by photographer Satyendra K. Tiwari

More on that.

Northern Lights in Winter, Churchill, Manitoba Canada (Webshots)


I've been thinking about responses to my last post.

I've got to say that I don't know what it feels like to feel the need, or to live a life with drugs and alcohol. I qualify that, because when I am at the lowest, or even in a rage, I'd like my IV drip to something numbing and fast, please! But I don't want to wallow and stay there. And contrary to any impression I might have given, I am, by far, not some prissy little Mormon girl. I know what values or morals are now, but I can say I certainly did not lead a life of some kind of perfection, before or now, and I'll just leave it at that. I've been lucky to know people like mysti who really exude a sweet Godly quality without even knowing it. A few sweet friends like that have blessed my life immeasurably.

I also know what it feels like to grow up in dysfunction and just have things happen to me that I was sure were bizarre and there must be only 2 (okay 5) other people on the whole planet that went thru things like that. That's just a guess, but it sure feels that way. It's crazy how we can all feel so alone when nearly all of us are suffering and could in fact bond with each other.

So I don't want to be the evil judge for what goes on in peoples' lives. And I don't ever want to suggest that when rotten horrible things happen in our lives a person can't in fact turn out great. In fact, it seems having rotten, scary or weird things happen often makes a person strong. It really is like the all the pressure and friction of life cracked and faceted and made it so that all could see the gem that is that person.

I wish for people to love and know within themselves, that it does not matter what you look like, it does not matter how large or small your body is, it does not matter the things that may have happened to you - you really are that gem already, whether you or the world can see it yet. For those that that is a shocking thought, or one that they had not digested before, know that if you believe just a little in that value - the possibilities, the places you can go, what you can accomplish and be is unfathomable.

My peeve with folks who 'use' has much to do with the environment where I met some.
Even in a place where we were all together, in a mental hospital having problems, it still seemed that they somehow felt superior or better than the lowly mentally ill person. Perhaps that is their bravado. So my bravado is the reaction against it. It's hard to always seem to be considered on the bottom when it's entirely unwarranted or unfair. That was an anger and resentment that I held onto. I never really fully understood their hell, and I'm pretty sure they never knew mine.

As I was typing even more response to my last post, I realized that the usual person, even other mentally ill folks, don't know what its like in a mental hospital. My MH experiences do define me, I still think of periods of my life being punctuated by this or that time in one. Maybe a good way to put it, is that some may feel that drugs and alcohol stole their youth. I feel that going psychotic and the ensuing 'treatment' stole mine, and more than once. And no can relate to it, or would even want to admit it. Again, I admit to feeling bitter about that. I am not sure how to get over it, because the past is unrepairable is it not?

I think the key to accepting so many of the horrible things might even be a key to stopping or dealing with my unimaginable rage sometimes. I've been told many times that my problem is that I don't accept this, the bipolar. In my heart, I agree that I don't accept it, all I know what to do is to try to rise above it, a tactic that has reaped some rewards. Are we supposed to accept this? I think everyone around me thinks so, and keeps waiting for me to 'do it' but I haven't a clue how. I really don't know how to even start accepting this. Maybe I'm afraid that I would stop trying to get anything done. But the truth is, I don't know the first thing about accepting 'The Plague,' I really don't know where to start in order to accept it.

I don't want to snuff out anyone's light. My own light struggles to shine. The last thing I want is to be some derisive bitch pissing off people. I'm not the judge. And I am not here to make you feel bad.

Be nice to the mentally ill. For one will rise up, get a blog, and try to cut you like a bad knife out of the cafeteria. Then, they will plead insanity. Have a nice day. :)

Sometimes change is difficult.

It can hurt,

Even though its meant to lead to a better day.

I feel pretty secure that despite things that change in my life, even the ones who swear they are for my own good yet hurt anyway, that I can withstand it.

Bipolar, life, God have all given me that insight because large obstacle's have been shoved in my way, even in my young life, and I have already survived, perservered and conquered.

Withough illicit drugs, without a drop of alcohol, trying very hard not to eat too much, and now not even smoking as a crutch to get thru trying times.

Honestly, I attribute that to the fact that I've been on Dr. recommended, and not abusing, medications that have kept me stable and not craving the next big high or whatever people do it for since the tender age of 16.

Having been raised as a Mormon taught me to be distrustful of the easy or big high. I have to say that I seem to have been innoculated from falling for those things. And I admit I have disdain for others falling for it. I often think if I could keep myself from falling for it, why are people dropping like flies. It makes me think that they are even more morally bankrupt than I thought my life had been, after all I didn't get formal religious anything until age 11.

It's not that I couldn't be potentially friends with someone who boozes, meths, cokes, heroins, or whatever, especially if they are over it but I think most of all my disdain stems from being put into 'mental/rehab' institutions where both species mix and have to endure each other.

Always there is new evidence that bipolar goes hand in hand with alcoholism, or everybody's self treating themselves because its really stemming from a mental illness. I think they should specify from an untreated mental illness because frankly I feel the druggies/alchies lower the clientelle in a mental hospital. I am there because I am sick which is bad enough and I frankly resent being shoved in with people who if nothing else are weak. Nice stories, but take responsiblity for your life. Period.

So, as per usual, I digress. There is change going on in my life. Hopefully the end to a very dysfunctional time in my life but still its very weird. And of course, the car issue is ongoing. It has become very clear to me that this country, fair and free as it is in many ways, is a reamer of the innocent, truly indifferent to the victim. I hate dealing with insurance and I'm not going to fight. I'll let my auto shop do that. It's really cool that they do that.

Keep the ice off of your car, or your insurance better be up to par!!!

Yes, this is an actual picture of my vehicle after a huge sheet of ice came off the top of the minivan in front of me and landed right on top of my car. Un beleeevable isn't it!!?? What you can't see is the fact that the windshield is also broken into a zillion little cracks.

I'm fine and we are dealing with their insurance people now. But let this go to show ~ DE-ICE your vehicle before you head out during the day!! Or you may be hitting an innocent bipolar over the head with your thoughtlessness - and be paying for it for a long time!!

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So many fantastic designs - I did a lot of research in checking them out!

Happy Valentine's Day from a Jungletart

Love from a Jungletart means kittens and puppies, flowers ~ of every kind and tulips, LOTS of tulips!~ in a big giant gemstone digital heart. I wish a beautiful day to all, love in every heart.

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