I'd like to update my post below.
First of all, I still feel every bit of harsh about the situation.
This person was a pathetic coward. He lacked skills, to be sure, and I'm not talking about dancing or drawing ligers. A decent normie should take some blame, because they should have taken the time to discuss life, his life with him.
But most of all, a 19-year-old who pulls a gun is a gunboy, even a gunchild, but stop giving the copycats something to look forward to being called, a gunman, hah.
The note said, 'I am going to crack.' As noted below, you have to have experienced life, been old enough for the wet spots to dry behind your ears, or for that matter have your balls drop down in order to claim this phrase. The young gentleman had no clue. Sorry to all the pre-pubescents, the young with issues. Guns bad, no touch guns. Let alone take 'it' out on pure strangers. *&*(&&(!
I cracked at the tender age of 16, but I am apparently more intelligent than most and I kept it to myself and my family, so that I could write a book about it in my late 30's or 40's. Key components: I did the brave work to help fix myself, much more than anyone could ever expect. That's a big: Take note.
Again, 'people' like this are a sorry excuse. We need to stop giving them excuses and the normies that enable them. For every shooter, bomber, or whatever way people find to be destructive to others (I'm all for them taking themselves out quietly, if its anywhere a choice between that or other people) there's a devil put aside. Unless your Angel Earl got there at the last second. After all, it's God's job to judge.
After considerable thought about the things I put on this blog, specifically my boundlessly angry entries, I realized that I am representing my morality, my judgement, my thoughts. Maybe its because I don't see me, my thoughts or I represented on MSN or Yahoo and I never see my fellow bloggers (in truth, about 3 people I check up on a lot) ever say things like I do, I now feel the need to acknowledge that yeah, it may not be for everybody. It may not be for everybody to connect with my anger, connect with my fantasy judgements, and admonitions about what must be done about anything and everything. That's okay. I know it takes a certain something to admit this. Oh, and I'm not sorry, not one bit. Just so you understand.
Friday, December 7, 2007
Thursday, December 6, 2007
Dragging the Good Name of the Mentally Ill into another God d_mn shooting: SICK of IT!!
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/12/06/us/06omaha.html?pagewanted=2&_r=1&th&adxnnl=1&emc=th&adxnnlx=1196971806-XDuQz5H3NX4DRuK7m3SbOw
If you would like to do your best to keep out of the 'war zone' that is today's public places: malls, your workplace, etc., you apparently have to stay home, work online, buy your gifts online, only answering your front door equipped with more protection and firepower afforded Iraqi soldiers. Get yourself a bullet-proof vest (this should be my next thing to get), pepper spray (I got it), a tazor gun (I got one), or a baseball bat (we're still wondering if wood or metal is better. I'm leaning towards wood. I like a good cr-ack sound.).
All this, because I accept the paramenters of of a person having been in a state mental hospital and therefore not getting the good firepower. Besides being stripped of dignity, many, many times, I've been stripped of my stupid 2nd Amendment rights, and I'm over it. There are no guns, including shotguns, no A-K 47's, semi-automatics, or anything would shoot a little 'ol deer, squirrel, or person, in my life because I accept reality.
I would never go to a gun show and I don't like it when Husband looks at (may I say bitty) guns online and talks about getting one. I've said no 1,000 times, and Therapist is concerned. Stop it, 'Dude that married me.' I know what's right. Why do you got to be like all these losers that somehow got a gun, or facilitated the aquisition of one by one who should not, right under the nose of a normie. What the hell is wrong, truly, with All of you?
Have you heard of the latest numnut, jerk, waste of human flesh to just go a-shooting in a mall after his life takes a pathetic turn, kills 8, and kills himself???? Worst of all, you know the next thing is delving into his 'mentally ill' history, since he was depressed.
Do you have to ruin mental health, and problematic but hard-working lives, FOR EVERYONE?? That to me is the worst, you fucked up understanding for the rest of us, put the movement, if nothing but a movement in my mind, every damn time this happens. There's a devil set aside for you Mr. Hawkins.
I guess I struggle with my Christianity when we get yet another story like this. I’m starting to think people who automatically want to organize prayer groups and don’t feel overwhelmed with anger are just robot units sent here to annoy.
This does nothing but anger me. Here I am ‘taking on’ a load of stuff that is Not My Problem. I feel beholden to say something for my own sake to get it out and for all the people that either don’t or can’t feel – that’s a biggie – and because anything else from me would be lies – and I think God ‘hates’ a liar, either to themselves or other’s, more than an angry, truthful bitch. Thank you.
The shooting in Omaha, the deadliest in their history, angers me most when I think of the shooter. Ahem, for you and every loser ‘thinking’ about doing this in the future – my bipolar opinion:
You are weak. If you are going to plead depression, breaking up with your girlfriend, losing your pathetic-ass job, or just that you’re some confused mentally ill whelp – well, in This case you made one of the stupidest mistake if you wanted to say it was SAD - you committed murder too early in the season, idiot!
Seasonal Affective Disorder has not even BEGUN to strike, so that’s no excuse in this case – you’re just plain pathetic. Wait til January, with the rest of us, when we are going insane with a lack of Vitamin D and sunshine. You numnut. Here’s a ‘b’ for the bitch who likes it spelled her way.
If you’re going to murder people, why don’t you wait a little later in your life to accrue a proper ‘history of mental illness.’ Once again, 19-year-olds haven’t lived long enough for a history of anything. Unless they live in the inner city and have been accruing misdemeanors since age 14. Regardless, hold on till you’re 40. If things haven’t got better, you’ve got more money for more firepower and I can hate you even more after you’ve killed even more and then taken the easy way out, killing yourself.
(&*(^(&%^&%*!!!!! You won’t find any sympathy about this jerkoff from ‘Tart. It’s a disgrace to the mentally ill anywhere when someone pulls murders in the name of their depression.
Newsflash: Whether it’s a normie’s fault for not stopping them, a normie’s fault for pushing them over the edge in some way, in the end it’s the mentally ill person’s name all over the newspapers/internet. It's the mentally ill jackoff's nombre in some dork-list of similar numnuts in a (hopefully soon to be) misplaced history book.
The fact that they are ‘mentally ill’ is NEVER lost on the media or people everywhere, even if you just walked into a clinic once.
So if you didn’t look like you should be committed, take some responsibility for your god damn life. As a person who has been committed TWICE (Me), true by a loving family who didn’t want to, I think we can swap champion-esque, ‘I controlled myself’ stories just as easily as this pathetic bullshit.
If you would like to do your best to keep out of the 'war zone' that is today's public places: malls, your workplace, etc., you apparently have to stay home, work online, buy your gifts online, only answering your front door equipped with more protection and firepower afforded Iraqi soldiers. Get yourself a bullet-proof vest (this should be my next thing to get), pepper spray (I got it), a tazor gun (I got one), or a baseball bat (we're still wondering if wood or metal is better. I'm leaning towards wood. I like a good cr-ack sound.).
All this, because I accept the paramenters of of a person having been in a state mental hospital and therefore not getting the good firepower. Besides being stripped of dignity, many, many times, I've been stripped of my stupid 2nd Amendment rights, and I'm over it. There are no guns, including shotguns, no A-K 47's, semi-automatics, or anything would shoot a little 'ol deer, squirrel, or person, in my life because I accept reality.
I would never go to a gun show and I don't like it when Husband looks at (may I say bitty) guns online and talks about getting one. I've said no 1,000 times, and Therapist is concerned. Stop it, 'Dude that married me.' I know what's right. Why do you got to be like all these losers that somehow got a gun, or facilitated the aquisition of one by one who should not, right under the nose of a normie. What the hell is wrong, truly, with All of you?
Have you heard of the latest numnut, jerk, waste of human flesh to just go a-shooting in a mall after his life takes a pathetic turn, kills 8, and kills himself???? Worst of all, you know the next thing is delving into his 'mentally ill' history, since he was depressed.
Do you have to ruin mental health, and problematic but hard-working lives, FOR EVERYONE?? That to me is the worst, you fucked up understanding for the rest of us, put the movement, if nothing but a movement in my mind, every damn time this happens. There's a devil set aside for you Mr. Hawkins.
I guess I struggle with my Christianity when we get yet another story like this. I’m starting to think people who automatically want to organize prayer groups and don’t feel overwhelmed with anger are just robot units sent here to annoy.
This does nothing but anger me. Here I am ‘taking on’ a load of stuff that is Not My Problem. I feel beholden to say something for my own sake to get it out and for all the people that either don’t or can’t feel – that’s a biggie – and because anything else from me would be lies – and I think God ‘hates’ a liar, either to themselves or other’s, more than an angry, truthful bitch. Thank you.
The shooting in Omaha, the deadliest in their history, angers me most when I think of the shooter. Ahem, for you and every loser ‘thinking’ about doing this in the future – my bipolar opinion:
You are weak. If you are going to plead depression, breaking up with your girlfriend, losing your pathetic-ass job, or just that you’re some confused mentally ill whelp – well, in This case you made one of the stupidest mistake if you wanted to say it was SAD - you committed murder too early in the season, idiot!
Seasonal Affective Disorder has not even BEGUN to strike, so that’s no excuse in this case – you’re just plain pathetic. Wait til January, with the rest of us, when we are going insane with a lack of Vitamin D and sunshine. You numnut. Here’s a ‘b’ for the bitch who likes it spelled her way.
If you’re going to murder people, why don’t you wait a little later in your life to accrue a proper ‘history of mental illness.’ Once again, 19-year-olds haven’t lived long enough for a history of anything. Unless they live in the inner city and have been accruing misdemeanors since age 14. Regardless, hold on till you’re 40. If things haven’t got better, you’ve got more money for more firepower and I can hate you even more after you’ve killed even more and then taken the easy way out, killing yourself.
(&*(^(&%^&%*!!!!! You won’t find any sympathy about this jerkoff from ‘Tart. It’s a disgrace to the mentally ill anywhere when someone pulls murders in the name of their depression.
Newsflash: Whether it’s a normie’s fault for not stopping them, a normie’s fault for pushing them over the edge in some way, in the end it’s the mentally ill person’s name all over the newspapers/internet. It's the mentally ill jackoff's nombre in some dork-list of similar numnuts in a (hopefully soon to be) misplaced history book.
The fact that they are ‘mentally ill’ is NEVER lost on the media or people everywhere, even if you just walked into a clinic once.
So if you didn’t look like you should be committed, take some responsibility for your god damn life. As a person who has been committed TWICE (Me), true by a loving family who didn’t want to, I think we can swap champion-esque, ‘I controlled myself’ stories just as easily as this pathetic bullshit.
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
What is a 'citizen journalist?'
That is the true journalism industry name for a blogger.
The name blogger came about by putting web log together. One who writes on a web log. As often happens when busy people get going on things, blogger became the hashed together version.
No, I'm not reading this from a dictionary, therefore this is Tart explaining to all you Googler's (what a new word that one is) and you better cite me.
I am a citizen journalist and I didn't know my full respectful name until today. I've been blogging my life, my feelings, my thoughts, all in my own writing for almost two years now. I even put up pretty pictures and save the most joyous things for the other blog I created!
I love doing this even though I am not paid, it takes time away from my life, and the majority of people who come here stay for less than a second, from what I understand.
That's okay, because this blog is my thing of beauty, created for me, giving me a place to express, like no other. Even my therapist said she thinks its good for me.:)
The name blogger came about by putting web log together. One who writes on a web log. As often happens when busy people get going on things, blogger became the hashed together version.
No, I'm not reading this from a dictionary, therefore this is Tart explaining to all you Googler's (what a new word that one is) and you better cite me.
I am a citizen journalist and I didn't know my full respectful name until today. I've been blogging my life, my feelings, my thoughts, all in my own writing for almost two years now. I even put up pretty pictures and save the most joyous things for the other blog I created!
I love doing this even though I am not paid, it takes time away from my life, and the majority of people who come here stay for less than a second, from what I understand.
That's okay, because this blog is my thing of beauty, created for me, giving me a place to express, like no other. Even my therapist said she thinks its good for me.:)
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
Maybe there IS only one place left for 'Good News'
http://extra.msn.com/goodnews.aspx
Maybe I'm just being me, but this page/link that was touted as 'Good News' on the MSN front page is...Not. Maybe my expectation for 'Something Happy' is too high. A guy who's wedding ring kept his finger from getting shot off, while having lead still wedged in his middle finger and neck does NOT hit me as Good Fucking News.
Jesus Christ.
Maybe I'm just being me, but this page/link that was touted as 'Good News' on the MSN front page is...Not. Maybe my expectation for 'Something Happy' is too high. A guy who's wedding ring kept his finger from getting shot off, while having lead still wedged in his middle finger and neck does NOT hit me as Good Fucking News.
Jesus Christ.
Nicole Richie, Joel Madden Shower 100 Moms with Baby Gifts (story via People.com)
As some of you remember, I have been accused of being (sometimes very) harsh about Nicole Richie. I'm proud to say that pregnancy, impending motherhood, a much talked about impending entrance into married life, and a desire to set things straight with family and the world(?) seem to have matured Ms. Richie greatly and I admit, in nice ways, in the last few months.
I feel somehow proud and good, myself, that Nicole and baby daddy Joel Madden showered 100 Los Angeles Health Clinic moms with $200,000 of gifts this weekend. These shocked moms received the same things that Nicole will be using for her soon-to-be newborn, which has probably got to be special if you're a Nicole fan. Let alone that this was truly a gesture in giving to the poor and needy.
I feel somehow proud and good, myself, that Nicole and baby daddy Joel Madden showered 100 Los Angeles Health Clinic moms with $200,000 of gifts this weekend. These shocked moms received the same things that Nicole will be using for her soon-to-be newborn, which has probably got to be special if you're a Nicole fan. Let alone that this was truly a gesture in giving to the poor and needy.
Yes, this could all be a publicity stunt, meant to get all of us to forget some of Nicole's problems (the same previous unniceties that I've mentioned before), but it was such a nice stunt, backed up with perhaps one or two previous things that the couple mention on their new joint website.
Joel & Nicole seem to be a very nice united front, and say that their families are very close to each other (I assume that means emotionally, as well as living 'near' to each other) and that they helped with this endeavor.
The two have established the richiemaddenfoundation.com, which, in a way, is dedicated to their baby that is yet waiting to be born in January. Nice.
They say they have been putting this together, or thinking about it, since learning of the pregnancy. Sweet.
I've looked at their site and their companion site www.babycenter.com and I'm pretty impressed. Not only as a consistent lover of baby education, myself, I am now a considerer of the lifestyle for me, myself & Husband, and found the information alone on http://www.babycenter.com/ to be very interesting. Oh! And you can buy baby stuff there too!
The two lovebirds seem to perform their acts of kindness coinciding with what is going on in their own life, meaning I don't know if they'll still be handing out toys when Nicole's in a totally different stage with her own tyke, but they really seem sincere.
And that's a profoundly different thought than the ones I had earlier this year about Nicole and I'm not afraid to report a change in my feelings, especially when she's done something to 'wow' me. Nice job Nicole & Joel! Thank you for making Christmas more real for one bipolar blogger, giving me a celebrity turn-around moment. I wonder if I should have put this on my 'Good Stuff' page? Maybe if you keep it up.:)
Not complain unduly, but has anybody else noticed what a beast it's become to format on the Blogger page these days? This and a couple of my last posts have had horrible formatting problems, especially in spacing between paragraphs. It's a 'whut the' moment./Discuss
'A Chastened Imus Returns to Radio'
Here's the link from a NYT's article.
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/12/03/business/media/03cnd-imus.html?_r=1&8au&emc=au&oref=slogin
Now that he's adding two black comedians, promising to chat about race relations while 'never saying anything to compromise the promise made to the Rutger's 'young ladies,' (a definite difference next to the description of them that got him trouble last time!!) he's got the all clear.
Excuse me, while I clear my delicate palate after those retching sounds just exuded that I had to turn the mic off for.
What IS it that I hate about I-mus so much? He is a hypocrite, plain and simple. I'm sure he explained to the money-makers that made him and themselves so much off his 'humor' that he didn't mean to piss the black people off so bad and They know that he just pushes the envelope everday because teenage boys getting ready for high school need a friend so They can sell crap to them. EIGHT MONTHS and he's reinstated.
Do you know what my most favorite movie of all time is? I had the joy of watching it again this weekend with Husband. I love it so much that it's impossible to control my parroting factoring, my repeat before they say it of what's said. Ready, kids??
Gooooood Morning, Vietnam!
This role was Robin Williams true calling. That was HIM, and he is utterly hilarious and true as Adrienne Cronoaur (sp) brought from Crete to do a radio show in Vietnam 1965.
Yes, he gets kicked off the radio at one point, for telling the truth! in a 'conflict' where the censors must be listened to.
You rent the movie. You do the research on Imus. Somebody's a dirty, media-owned slut and someone's got morals. One is funny, the other wouldn't know funny if a (wacka-wacka) horn wuz shoved up his butt. You be the judge.
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/12/03/business/media/03cnd-imus.html?_r=1&8au&emc=au&oref=slogin
Now that he's adding two black comedians, promising to chat about race relations while 'never saying anything to compromise the promise made to the Rutger's 'young ladies,' (a definite difference next to the description of them that got him trouble last time!!) he's got the all clear.
Excuse me, while I clear my delicate palate after those retching sounds just exuded that I had to turn the mic off for.
What IS it that I hate about I-mus so much? He is a hypocrite, plain and simple. I'm sure he explained to the money-makers that made him and themselves so much off his 'humor' that he didn't mean to piss the black people off so bad and They know that he just pushes the envelope everday because teenage boys getting ready for high school need a friend so They can sell crap to them. EIGHT MONTHS and he's reinstated.
Do you know what my most favorite movie of all time is? I had the joy of watching it again this weekend with Husband. I love it so much that it's impossible to control my parroting factoring, my repeat before they say it of what's said. Ready, kids??
Gooooood Morning, Vietnam!
This role was Robin Williams true calling. That was HIM, and he is utterly hilarious and true as Adrienne Cronoaur (sp) brought from Crete to do a radio show in Vietnam 1965.
Yes, he gets kicked off the radio at one point, for telling the truth! in a 'conflict' where the censors must be listened to.
You rent the movie. You do the research on Imus. Somebody's a dirty, media-owned slut and someone's got morals. One is funny, the other wouldn't know funny if a (wacka-wacka) horn wuz shoved up his butt. You be the judge.
Saturday, December 1, 2007
Working, My Way
Off the Beaten Path, Great Britain, WebshotsI have done an amazing thing. I have finished my resume and submitted it to the employer that I have been watching daily. I just kept checking them to see if they're still asking for people. I stopped trying to 'perfect' my resume and took the plunge.
Employment now has to be on my terms. After 20 years of working for someone else, I have said, "No more foolishness and forget the stress, TY." I'm the best boss for my needs, because I don't want to ever be in the situation again where I feel the strange and stressful obligation to keep my 'bipolar secret' from everyone around me.
I've learned the hard way that there are still people who 'can't handle the truth,' so I dutifully make it easier on everyone, because I can't stand the embarassment. In work situations, I would much rather not trust ANYone and run myself into the ground trying not to tell.
That's one reason its so hard to have a job for more than a couple of years, if I'm lucky - nobody can uphold such standards, and be perfect at their job too, which of course, I always was. I'll succumb to working, but it will be at home.
I have a two year gap since my last employment. I don't care because after taking an entire year of training for medical transcription, fully expecting to work at home, I was told I must perform 2 years of work outside of the home, preferably in a hospital.
This wasn't mentioned before taking classes, that I know of. No, I got into this deal, so I could work at home and for all I know, I was lied to. Nothing new. And nothing new that I stuck to my guns and said, 'At home, or nothing at all. Period.'
I was told I 'couldn't' work for the one lady who came our class to recruit, because she didn't believe that anyone located where I am would drive daily to her location. Funny, I drove that route daily for my newspaper job! So I said the hell to her, back at cha!
Never doubt my resolution about this work at home thing. Never doubt that I was going to work again, when it was 'my time.' Look, I've forgotten everything transcription, I'll be starting over, and that ought to 'scare' me, make me get my tapes out and go at it, but I'll get there when I get there.
Social Security is letting us make about $1,000 a month now. I only need about $500 a month to fill the black hole that our last 'renter' made by leaving. I don't have to kill myself over this, I don't have to spend a penny in gas, and I can perform my job in my Spongebob flannel pajama drawers. If this works out, I'll surely let everyone know.
I'm not a drooling, clueless individual, as we all well know. I do deserve the best in life, I do deserve to get over my hangups - in fact, I deserve the good life.
Just so you know, I am always in the back of my mind, thinking about 'my' alpaca ranch. I've gone to a seminar, learned about taxes and veterinary needs, I've been researching, I save every pamphlet I get - because some day I might be designing my own, I want to see the competition.
So, I look at land, which is astronomical around here, and truly is a pipe dream - at this time. But the saddest thing I recall was an ex-friend seeing me look at land and say, "Why do you get your hopes up? Why do you even look?"
Because daring to dream has never been a problem for me. Because Dennis Hopper and Ameriprise really hit a nerve by saying, 'Don't give up on dreams, even when you're geezing,' and they are so right. Refusing to give yourself something to look forward to isn't healthy.
When you stop dreaming, and tell others to quit too, that just makes you pathetic and you better stop. I might curl up in the embryonic position occasionally, but I'm not dead yet.
Underneath the surface, something is always bubbling. When everything aligns just right, there are moments to grab onto. You won't find a normie thankful for 'silly' things, like just once something working out right (miracle!), but you'll find I will. Oh yes, I will.
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