Whoa Nelly! The 'Tart makes a stop by her Blog!

What?! What?! Not seen the 'Tart in three years??? Well, fear no more ~ she's been here the whole time.

Never gotten rid of a single post; I have always hoped to help touch the lives of those affected by mental illness in a positive way - see my first post from waaaay back when. It was true then, and remains true now.

I guess I have been in 'blog hiatus' for three years now.

My life has changed OH SO MUCH for the better in those years. Really it started a few years before that, most easily noted in 2009, when I started working for a fabulous Drop-In Center, an all PEER RUN Center that changed my life and the lives of countless others, many who are people I see so often.

Since that time, I have been BUSY and just getting BUSIER!! But I keep an eye on this corner of the internet, and see that people still come here, check it out, and READ. Wow!!

I am amazed - Amazed - however, by the sheer numbers of people that have dropped by and the thought occurred to me, this late in the evening, that there is a need, a NEED, to continue talking, with fresh eyes, about mental health, about living with a mental illness, sharing the daily fight and thoughts, sharing the love, hatred, happiness, upset, joy, gratitude, ALL OF IT.

I have always been a fighter, one who refuses to give up, and yes, one who still has that li'l bite of sarcasm, hence I think I am suitably STILL the 'Tart.

I am still here, Friends, and I know that you are, too. If you would like to say, Hi! or lend a comment, I ask you to in a vein of kindness, as I will monitor them. Please do.

I am looking to try again, to blog and converse again. Conversation goes both ways. Do you want to say hello, make suggestions of what you are looking for in a blog that concerns my life and personal mental health journey?

Be confident, unashamed and leaving shyness to the side to say 'Hello' to me. It's been a long time, I know. 

Tart's end of year statements. :) Hello and I have missed you all!!

 

Hello, Hello, Hello! It IS December 2012, it IS nearing Christmas time and New Year 2013, and I AM still Here!!! Yaaay!!! :)

It is also 3:52 in the a.m. and I..am..AWAKE.

I have a regular Dr.s appointment in the morning and I am going to be hating life when it comes time for me to wake up, if I do in fact go to sleep tonight.

Hunh. I have been doing well for a loooong time and I don't understand why I cannot sleep tonight. Could it be that little ol' cup of coffee at 3 p.m.this afternoon?

So I see that it has been since May of this year that I have blogged, so's there is much to catch up on. I should blog more often people, so I can remember what the heck to say. Why didn't you remind me people? Just kidding. I know you're busy. :)

I am going to peruse things, update the Goodstuff blog I think, too, and ponder what to tell you ALL about!

Sleep well, blogland.

My first post on the new system - Hello! It's been so long!!:)

Wow! fellow blogger's are you liking the new Blogger? I am not sure if I do ~ it is so DIFFERENT and bare seeming and well, who likes change? This is drastic people!!

Webshots - This looks like a bearded iris to me, which are coming up in a couple people's yards on my way to work - so beautiful!

My blog goes on! I am still here, still blogging anonymously as a person who has bipolar disorder and lots of pets - hence the name Jungletart as most of you know me. Anyway, what a shock for even me to find that I haven't written since February of last year. And this feels like a new start for me with this new posting system/page.

So much is going on with work, and it is going well. I am on the Board at my little Drop-in Center for mental health consumers and I am still giving 'In Our Own Voice' presentations and I am on some other exciting committees having to do with mental health issues, including the Mental Health Awareness Day in our county A-gain, for starters.

I've come a long way baby. From early days of venting, venting, here on the blog to be being mucho blessed to work in the very field that is a passion of mine from the get-go.

SO, here I sit, surrounded by my Pugs and kitty. They are doing well and are my little furbabies. They make me happy.

We have been fishing already this year and hubby caught a fish on our first trip out and it made him so happy. I got him a fishfinder for his birthday last year and we finally tried it out and it worked!! We were trawling along and I said "Stop here!" and not too long after he caught his fish. Last weekend no catches but it is sooo beautiful to just be on on the riv'a!

Well hello all my blog friends and new ones too. I hope life is treating you well.
Jungletart 

My Goodness!! Has it really been since October 2011 since I posted??!! Well, I must change that!

I got through Christmas. I had such plans to make stuff for Christmas, lots of stuff for all the babies in the family but that required sewing and I kept putting it off.

BUT I did knit a few things!!:) I knit two scarves, one a nice man's scarf, and the other a very pretty scarf out of fancy yarn. It had little bits of sparkle to it. I used a pattern from one skein wonders book called the 'Pandora' scarf - it's knit on the bias. I forget the name of the yarn but it was fancy and it changed colors from aqua to blue to lavender and purple. Lovely! I gave that one to my mother in law.
I think she is enjoying it. I know she showed it to her Bridge group who are knitters.

I sent baby towels from JCPenney instead of sending the baby towels that I Meant to make (and...never did).I was going to make hooded baby towels out of regular towels and put an applique and bias tape around (such plans!)

I also held onto the baby doll/rag doll that I made from a kit from Walmart, because my first attempt at making a doll's reversible dress didn't turn out so great. But I love the dolly.

All of this would go great on my 'Good Stuff' blog but it's been my experience that if I try to cut and paste out of here and put this on my other blog it will mess up.

On a professional note, I spoke in front my state's budget committee about the importance of funding for mental health in the beginning of January. That was a very satisfying experience. We had to wait half the day to speak but it was very worthwhile.

Then late in the January I and a fellow presenter did a NAMI 'In Our Own Voice' for a local community college and that one went very well!! The audience was very receptive and their questions were very good. They also came up and thanked us after the presentation.

And biggest of all, I got asked, and accepted, to be on the Board of Directors at work!! I help advise on things. My boss said it was my insightfulness and judgment that they wanted on the Board. How great is that!!:)

Ok I'll sign off for now. Hope all is well in Blogland!:)

MHA Event done!!

Mental Health Awareness Day is over. It was a special event that I was on the committee on in my County and it was an exhaustive day but quite wonderful. I handed out programs and was on my feet for many hours. I also helped with a special award and it was very satisfying to see that handed out and know that my help with the wording was on a plaque that will be up for a long time.

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I look at my fingernails as I type. I am so glad that I don't have my fake fingernails on anymore as it makes it so difficult to type. AND they were awful to my real fingernails, which are now even more transparent and weak than they were before. I am babying them in the sense of no more fake nails, at least for a little bit!! ;)

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Busy, busy. Happy:)

Still here! I am LOVING my Craftsy class "Sewing with Diana Rupp." I am learning so much! I have gotten the stuff yesterday to make my 20x20 pillow and taking it a step at a time.

New task: someone at work wants me to hem some pants. I brought my pins in a marked where the hem should be. Hoping this will turn out well. If so, he has jeans to hem too. Money is involved.:)

Tomorrow I am going to a Renaissance Faire. Hoping the walking won't wear me out. Supposed to be a nice day and I am looking forward to it.

Thank you to my commenters. I am so glad to see you here, too!
Have a good day.:)
Jungletart

Projects, projects - Autumn is coming.

Hello! Five months since the last post!? What is that about? :)
Well, I am here today. I have been doing well. I am getting more and more into my hobbies. I have completed my first sock, knitting-wise, and now working on the second of the pair. I am getting into sewing. There's a great new site (that I totally am not paid to shill) called 'Craftsy' and I am excited to say that I am getting ready to take the sewing class with Diana Rupp on that site. I will tell you how that goes after I take it. I have been working on some small sewing projects, including a rag doll for a relative's daughter and hooded baby towels for twin boy babies, hoping to get this all done for Christmas.
I am enjoying a time of eveness, although I say that and wonder a little when the other shoe will drop.
Oh big change, I am TRYing to do Weight Watchers again. When I am counting PlusPoints I actually lose weight. I have taken a little hiatus from it, and I need to get back on the bandwagon. It's the only thing so far that I've seen has worked for me.
Well it is getting late. Time to take the medicine. :) Hope all have a wonderful Labor Day and that all had a great Summer! Bring on Autumn - lets hope that it is fruitful and kind to all of us.

I am still here!!

Hello Blogworld, Things are percolating right along. Spring has sprung!! It is so beautiful around here. Sunshine. Flowers. The green, green grass of my neighborhood. (and dandelions!:)

I have been working on a few things here. I am still working at the Drop-In Center. I am also on a committee to help organize our county's Mental Health Awareness Day. I am still a presenter for NAMI's 'In Our Own Voice' program, and the coordinator for it for our county. I am doing well professionally.

More and more I am getting to help out my favorite cause (helping to break the stigma of mental illness and share my compassion as a person with others). Those of you that have been following the blog from that first post know that I have just wanted the opportunity to touch even one life, to share a commonality with others that yes, suffer, and also triumph daily over difficulty.

I am very happy to report that after all these years, since 2006 I think I started this blog, that I have been able to see good things in my actual life come about as a process in working in the mental health world as a person who has a mental illness myself! Wow! It really is something to get to say that on the blog.

No, I'm not going anywhere (not leaving the blog) in case this got you worried. We still need to talk about this stuff. I'll never stop wanting to talk about mental health. People need compassion and so so many of us need someone to talk to about these things. Just sayin' :)

I'm sign off this post for now. I wish you all a Great day!
Sincerely,
Jungletart

Today is a better day!! Yay!

So yesterday and last night I was tired, tired, exhausted so I finally took my evening medicine somewhere near close to when I am supposed to (9 p.m.) at actually 8:54 p.m. (a new record for me) and LOW and BEHOLD it worked it's magic and I went to bed at a somewhat decent time and woke up this morning at 6 A.M. bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and ready to go today! GO FIGURE!! Routine people. It can be a magical thing. Aaaannnnd, my medicine does knock me out when taken properly, that is a proven thing.

Rest makes all the difference in the world.

Happy Ash Wednesday!!

Well, Mardi Gras is over so I have taken down the beautiful purple Mardi Gras background and refound my lovely other day-to-day background! I like to keep up with the times and seeing how today (Ash Wednesday) begins a kind of holy time for many, I am just keeping up with it.

I know it's ridiculous to complain about it, but I am surrounded by Pugs and they make it difficult for me to type on here. Emma, my oldest, (dare I say sweetest?) Pug insists on wedging herself next to me and the couch arm, or just plain stepping all the heck over the laptop and doing nutty things with my computer, all by mistake of course. How kin I be mad at her? So's Blossom is peering to the left of me like 'How come's the other one gets the special spot, I wanna lay on you too??? Now she has decided to curl up next to me and they shall take naps. :):)

Tomorrow is another Day.

I was just exhausted today but I do feel better after sleeping a few extra hours this morning.

I am coming to acceptance that perhaps as a bipolar happening I've got these seemingly enormous ebbs and flows of energy sometimes. I am able to get marvelous things done at times and complete tasks and complete projects that make me happy (knitting, sewing, work for work) and yet other times I cannot keep up with all that. I get tired or down or just not able to function so well. And marvelous of all, I am not beating myself up about this, I am simply being and holding onto my Scarlet O'Hara (Gone With The Wind) belief that "tomorrow is another day." It is a good moment still for me, peoples.

I have been looking and having a blast skipping around the internet looking at knitting and sewing blogs, Pug blogs, and even delved into Artfire.com today ~ looking and soaking up the 'Good.'
Recently I bought a book on sewing cute little toys and dolls (Sew It, Stuff It by Rob Merrett) and have had a grand old time imagining and thinking about making a few things.

I got some projects done for Christmas last year (2010) including a baby blanket for a family member (knitted) and chicken shaped sachets for all the female family members in my extended family (and that was at least 11 people I was sewing for) and a cross-stitch for my MIL and got it all done in time to take to Christmas. That was a blast now that I think of it, but a good bit a stress up until the point that I did get them done, as it did get down to the wire.

It would thrill me so to have the energy to really sew a lot of things and sell them and share the love with others. Maybe I could think about this and work on things and do a craft show once in a while.

Have a Great Day blog world!

Spring is on it's way!

I am feeling better but tired. I played cards with friends last night (Spades is really popular with us) and couldn't get to sleep last night. I am looking forward to a few things. Enjoy the recent background. Happy Mardi Gras everyone.

Sometimes I feel like it doesn't matter what I do; it's going down the drain anyway ~ or at the very least, to describe it, I get full of negative thoughts and start going down that very awful winding path down.

I have come to understand through paying attention to an affirmation tape (CD) of mine that it is up to me to fill my mind with positive thoughts. It becomes a one foot in front of the other endeavor.

Then I start to feel that the little things I do DO matter.

And then I start to see or feel better or see positive results from that.

And that's a thought for the day that I think I'll leave at that.

I procured an African Violet today.:)

Although I am still feeling the effects of my back hurting I had a good day.

Yesterday, I discovered that I have a reusable HotCold pain relief compress and that is in the freezer right now, waiting to be used. I did use it yesterday and I think it helped actually.

I work on Saturdays, and went to work as usual. My boss came in and asked me if I would like to go on a road trip. One of my co-worker's daughter's office was moving and they/she was giving our non-profit first pick of anything they were planning to discard in the office!! So we found some things that will be a wonderful addition to our Center.
Along the way, I found an African violet, very small and not blooming in any way and asked if I could have it. They said yes, and I have the little Violet here by the computer. I am thinking of taking pictures as I am sure I can get it to grow and flourish. I love plants, really the creative process of any kind. I am looking forward to attempting gardening when it gets warm too.

Greetings and Oysters made me feel better today.

My Gosh!! It's literally been months since I've said anything on the blog. Well, as I sit here wriggling in back pain, seemingly unable to fully support my back for a lengthy amount of time, I think it's time I said something on here!! Hello, blogworld!
Each time I think of something to say, I think how absolutely boring it sounds, like how I've had a cold for WEEKS now. My place of work is a hot-bed of germs to be honest and it seems each time I've got this thing nearly licked, it rears it's raspy, throat-junked-filled, ugly head and I am now prone to thankfully only occasional fits of coughing at this point. Yay me!!
Today I did something fun. I shucked oysters and ate them!! Yes, it made my annual visit to not my favorite restaurant much more fun this year as I was busy working on those oysters.
Explanation: For his birthday, we take one of my very good friends to his favorite restaurant, we call it the annual visit, I won't even grace the place with it's name here. Normally, I feel somewhat uncomfortable there, but this year I actually had a good time there. They brought out a bucket of these oysters and a shucking knife and cute little fork. I was a little at a loss as how to open them as some were very shut and had to be pryed open with said knife, but I considered it an adventure.
Then for a rousing game of Scrabble with my friend, which I was soundly winning, before Husband and I had to go home.
And that is how my day is going right now. My back hurts but it was an interesting day.

Seem to be busy these days!!

The three things I seem to be doing this Fall are: working at the Drop-In Center, taking a class in knitting and k-nitting my heart out, and scheduling 'In Our Own Voice' presentations.

I also cook dinners a lot since we seem always out of money and eating out is a big no-no.

Oh, and controlling the Jungle when they are hungry like right now and the Pugs want to go after the poor Siamese kitty.

Speaking of kitty, he had lost 2 pounds in a year which the vet said was the equivalent of a person losing 30 to 40 pounds in a year for no reason. They wanted to do more blood work on him, which I said okay to and it came up with nothing wrong with him. Then they said the next thing is an x-ray or sonogram.

He is a happy purry, active kitty. I absolutely do not have the money for x-rays and sonograms and didn't really have the money for the blood test. I have to fight against the feeling that I am a 'bad Mommy' for fighting the 'authority' of the vet, but at the same time if Reese is dying he sure is the 'happiest dying cat I've ever seen.' So I have resigned myself to loving and feeding my cat as much as he can stand of the wet food and leaving it at that. He is 'lording' over my laptop and now on my lap as we speak, purring away and I hope for the best for him. I hope you all don't judge me.

I'm still hanging on mood-wise. I often expect the other shoe to drop in the Fall time as this seems to be the difficult time for me. And I have had some days of depression that I could not pin-point the reason and I chalk it up to the bipolar. But I do hang in there when it counts (like scheduling presentations or trying to be 'present' at my job or meeting new people at a night class) and I'm still at the point where I am enjoying my hobbies, which is a sign that I'm still in some other stage than the full-blown depression (where I can't handle much and hobbies are out of the question).

Okay, the Pugs are REALLY going at it ~ I guess they need a feeding and I need to work on my sock! (Just started my very first one last night. Knitting socks has been a dream of mine for a very long time - Joy!). When I first looked at the needle set-up and the pattern I thought, 'No way!' but my teacher assures me that I can do it!!

I wish good good thoughts and luvs to my blog friends and hope that you are all doing okay.:)
Most sincerely,
The 'Tart

We are on Retreat!

I gave my presentation today for my co-workers on 'Refuting Irrational Thoughts' and it went splendidly. I was organized, with hand-outs, and as the cherry on the sundae, I made little 'Affirmation' cards for each person and I think several people really liked them.

The best part about this experience so far has been the hot tub. I've been in it each night we are here. It rained All Day today, including this evening, but 5 of us were determined to get in the hot tub tonight regardless of being pelted with showers. And we stayed in it even though it's temperature had cooled down so much.

Tonight six of us went to a seafood restaurant buffet and tore it up. One guy was amazing, with several plates of seafood, a plate of salad, and a plate of fruit > 5 PLATES o' food! How we amuse each other.:) Glorious!

I am very tired right now, as I have taken my medicine and it is kicking in. Talk...soon...later.
:) Tart

Controlling emotions - a video from Livestrong.com

I will be going on a retreat for work and each of the staff is doing a section on 'Stress Relief.' My section is 'Refuting Irrational Ideas.' I have been doing some research and I found this video on Livestrong.com called the 'Beginner's Guide on Controlling Your Emotions.' Enjoy.

http://www.livestrong.com/video/3750-beginners-guide-controlling-emotions/

A Heck of a Week.

I see my last post a little differently. What an angry little title that one seems to have! (or at least a bit of a passive-aggressive one:) Well, it's been a few days and after discussion with my therapist and my boss/good friend, I've come to the conclusion that our last audience was, most simply put, immature, and I am just letting it go. On to bigger and more important things.

Even before I had my In Our Own Voice presentation on Monday, which was huge on my mind, I had something else on my mind.

Before I even wrote that last post I had found out that someone that affected my life and the life of others in our mental health community had died. In a violent way, which was disturbing. And so sad, because this person was a beautiful person inside and out and it was so sad.

So I went to her funeral today. And I was actually uplifted by it, and 'glad' that I went, as opposed to not having gone. We were encouraged to think of the good things, the positive memories, the ray of sunshine that she was, instead of the way and fact she died. Which I am trying to focus on.

Then, as an irony, our work had our Anniversary party. Which went on, it was not cancelled. We worked hard to make it nice for everybody, and had a lot of consumers come to it today. But it was so hot out today (apparently it reached 99 degrees) annnd I roasted a bit. I received a certificate of appreciation, as all the staff did, and that made me feel really good. I am monstrously blessed that I have beautiful meaningful work and wonderful bosses and friends.

Recently, I have been opened to the idea of 'affirmations' in my life. I will talk more about this and share more of this especially on the 'Good Stuff' blog, I think, because it is becoming enormously helpful in my life, and I can see it changing my life for the better.

So I didn't 'mean' to sound like a crank with that last post (title) but I was quite concerned about it for a while until I had those conversations I mentioned and recovered.

I wish all well in the blog world.'Tart:)

Can you teach compassion??

There is much going on here in the Jungle. Most importantly, my animals (and family) are fine and doing well.
I did an 'In Our Own Voice' presentation for a large psychology student crowd (90 people) yesterday. I have mixed feelings about it.
One: I know we did a good job and we presented well. We answered questions to the best of our ability. And I am proud of myself and my co-presenter. And that is what matters most.
Two: There was some compassion in the crowd and some kind and sincere comments/questions.
But, Three: some of the questions/comments showed a bit scary ignorance among a population that you would hope would know more. I know that was the reason that the professor asked us to come and speak and he was thrilled with the presentation and said that it was better than any lecture he could have ever given. Which does hearten the 'Tart as well.
As my wonderful boss and friend said to me, this was the first time we gave a presentation in front people that are not truly in the mental health field, they were not 'Our people.'
The professor wants us to do the presentation once a semester for his classes.
:)